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Jaime

Mom to Mason Scott

Born Sleeping May 5, 2016

Chicago, Illinois

ASK ME ABOUT MY SON!

I want to talk about him! Honestly! I want to tell the world how he was so active that I was sure he was practicing dribbling a soccer ball. I want to talk about the times when my husband put his face close to my stomach and talked to our son and got punched in the face. I can imagine him, being a volleyball player, thinking “good spike, son!”. Those are the stories I enjoy sharing but I know that isn’t the story everyone is wondering about.

Mason Scott was born at 1:16pm on May 5th, 2016. My husband predicted a Cinco De Mayo baby weeks prior. He was convinced and he was correct.

The road to May 5th was perfect. Every ultrasound and check-up deemed perfect. Until that last ultrasound. It was a sizing ultrasound to determine how big of a baby I was growing. The ultrasound tech went through measuring everything and we chatted away about his name and our hopes and dreams for him. She brought in the doctor who faked looking for something, told us we had a problem and said he couldn’t find a heartbeat. He immediately got up and walked out, leaving us brokenhearted. After getting in touch with my doctor, she told us we had to go to the hospital and deliver our perfect son.

We arrived and I asked the nurse to look for a heartbeat again. I felt I was living a nightmare that couldn’t be true. She looked for over five minutes but deep down I already knew she wouldn’t find anything.

When he was born, I waited for his cry but the only crying was my own. They cleaned him and measured him (8 pounds and 23 inches long!) and placed him in my arms. His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful. He was the spitting image of my husband, except he had my nose and chin.

It was a twisted cord issue. A freak accident so confusing to the doctor that she had never seen it happen before. 

We spent 2 precious hours with him before we said goodbye. As they wheeled him away, so went our hopes and dreams for him.

In the weeks since, we’ve continued to deal with the feelings of what should have been, and the empty feeling in our arms. Mother’s Day should have been celebrated with the three of us. Instead there were two of us. Every warm day should be family walks but instead they’re spent inside.

We do look forward to the future. We know he would have wanted siblings and we hope to give that to him in the future. But everyday and for always, he is with us. 

You can email Jaime at JaimeLBradshaw@gmail.com.

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Comments

  1. I am so sorry for your loss.

    xoxo, Ameli

  2. I am so very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you, sending you love and light for the dark days ahead. You’re not alone. xoxo

  3. I am so sorry for your loss.

  4. Bridget says:

    I’m so sorry for the loss of little man Mason. You are not alone.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss xx

  6. I am so sorry for the loss of your son Mason. My husband and I lost our daughter to a cord accident on August 18th of last year. Please know that there are so many people who can understand the pain you are dealing with right now. Reach out any time.

    -Ashleigh

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