bride 9 (1)

Julie

Mom to Lucas Timothy Dale

July 21, 2014 – February 26, 2015

Phoenix, Arizona

Hi my name is Julie and I am the mother of Lucas who died of USID. I was a single mother for several years with three amazing children, Brittani, Cayltyn and Steven. I was so proud to be their mother and watch them achieve their dreams. Then in 2010 I reunited with my high school sweetheart after 8 years of being single. We were happy. Then, to our surprise, we were pregnant with our son Wyatt who was born on August 3, 2012 and was an amazing blessing to our family. My older children were just in love with him. Then on July 21, 2014, Lucas came along. He was born a fighter. Early in the morning less than 24 hours after his birth, he was taken to the NICU due to low plate count. It was the scariest thing I had ever dealt with. But after a transfusion and 6-day stay in the hospital for him and me, we went home. Everything was great; our family was complete. Lucas was a gentle soul, was happy, slept great, nursed great and was not ill at all during his life.

But then on February 26, 2015, I nursed my son and drove him and his older brother to daycare. That morning I remember him smiling at me and just happy. Then at 11:00 a.m. I got the worst call of my life from the babysitter that Lucas was not breathing. I remember screaming and trying to get to my baby. Then when the nurse told me he was gone, my world died. I sat there trying to understand what was happening to me and how this could happen to me when I had done everything right for my son. When I went to go say good bye, it was like someone killed me along with my son.

After 7 months on this earth, my baby was gone. My life and family changed forever. My family, myself, my husband, my children, and my world will never be the same.

I think to myself daily, what if I stayed home that day, what if I did something different? I also blame myself every day for my son’s death. Grief is not something that is easy and I struggle every day to understand why my son is gone. I will [live] every day honoring my son Lucas Timothy Dale and making sure that he is never forgotten.

You can email Julie at familyoflucascherry@gmail.com

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Comments

  1. You honor him with so much love. Healing is a process that never truly ends…it simply gets a little better with each passing day. I pray that you and your family grow stronger and find peace with each passing moment.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss.

  3. I Wish there were words or actions that could somehow ease your grief. You did everything right, you loved and will always love him. What I can say to you is your not alone, you have an amazing family and circle of friends that would drop everything to help you and help you grief. I’m so sorry , I tried so hard to get him back and I feel like I failed not just you and your entire family but also myself. I know this sounds bad in a way, but I’m glad you didn’t have to do what I did that day and you get to remember that happy smiling face you left with me. He was so happy that day. He played and had a great morning. I think what if I just kept him up that day?

    In the end I learned no matter how I think I’m in control, there is always a higher power. So I am able to grief because I look up and somehow I Get this amazing warm feeling and I believe it’s Lucas smiling.

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