Mom to Cameron and Oliver
November 21, 2014
Cameron Wesley was a miracle baby. He was my second pregnancy, I was diagnosed with placenta previa and doctors told me I would have a c-section, which frightened me. Around 30 weeks, my placenta had moved and everything started to turn.
I was in and out of the hospital at Shands constantly having contractions and getting shots. At 35 weeks, my water broke and I freaked out. My mother, father and I rushed to the hospital as I called my now husband to inform him baby was coming. Five hours into labor he was born with the softest cry and I cried hysterically as the doctors said due to him being early I could only have 30 minutes to hold and feed him before he would have to go to the NICU. He was only 5 lbs and 13oz 19 inches long. A week in the hospital, we were able to go home. Every day we were in the pediactrics so my son could get blood drawn for his jaundice. It broke my heart to see him go through all that. He was finally cleared at four weeks old and healthy as can be.
My husband and I had moved to Madison, Florida to start our life together with our son. One day as we were laughing and enjoying the night Cameron had coughed and I went to check on him in his swing, I freaked out to find he had blood on his lips. My husband quickly strapped him in his carseat as we rushed to the hospital to find out why he coughed blood. After arriving, the doctor would only let one of us back with the baby so I went back to the room with my son. When the doctor ran all their tests, she informed me that Cameron had anemia but did not inform us that with how low it was and with him being preemie, he would need a blood transfusion. They sent him home.
For two days and one night he refused to sleep, hardly ate and fussed constantly. August 8th, my husband left to job search and I tried getting Cameron to sleep; once he was out, I laid him on his back in his cradle and started cleaning my house. When my husband got home, he laid down and I went in to check on him and baby and when I saw Cameron, he was so cold and pale. I started panicking as my husband rushed to him and got him in his carseat. We stopped on the side of the road waiting for the ambulance. Two guys stopped and tried to resusitate him until EMS got there. We met them at the hospital, dreading the bad news as police raided our home to make sure there was no foul play. We were cleared and a few months later, we moved.
I got pregnant after a year of his passing and we were happier than ever. Things were going great; healthy pregnancy with no complications. Then one night I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and felt a gush of fluid. I went to the hospital and they said I peed myself and everything was fine. Mind you, I was 24 weeks and I’m a very cautious mom. I went home and started cramping but it felt like ligament pain. My husband and I ate dinner, went to bed and then at 4:00 a.m. I woke up with immense pain and gushing fluid until 5:00 p.m., so I called my grandma as we rushed to the ER to find out my water did break the night before and my son Oliver was breech. They transferred me to Shands where I would deliver my micro preemie baby. The doctors said that I would probably deliver in the next three weeks. Later that day, Oliver’s heartbeat started to slow down and the doctors rushed in and started explaining they had to do an emergency c-section and my husband couldn’t be in there with me.
Oliver was born November 21, 2014 and and he passed before he entered the world. I woke up asking if my son was ok and where he was. No one answered. Finally a doctor came in and I asked again; still nothing. My husband told me he didn’t make it. I went into two different seizures. Finally, a doctor said before they could get the baby out, his heart had stopped. They tried for 10 minutes to revive him but no luck. They brought him in for me to hold and I spent hours adoring him. He was only 1 lb 8 oz. A photographer came in from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and took amazing photos to last us forever of our little Oliver. He was very gentle and respectful of our feelings and loss. The doctors all came in and gave us their condolences. The hardest part was leaving the hospital without him and watching the other mothers leaving with their babies smiling. I felt nothing but emptiness. I feel a sense of guilt. The baby blues. Numbness.