Mom to Baby Gunn
May 11, 2015
Overland Park, Kansas
Why did this happen to us? After months of trying to convince my husband to have another child, we finally began trying. We became pregnant and then 12 weeks later we lost our baby on the bathroom floor.
I just don’t understand it and I’m not sure I ever will. I knew from our very first ultrasound at 5 weeks in the emergency room for cramping that something wasn’t right. The doctor came in and said “we see a gestational sac but there is no baby in it at this time”, my heart sunk and I became speechless.
I left the emergency room that day feeling confused and afraid. I searched online for similar stories but that made me even more scared and concerned. A couple weeks later we went in for my first prenatal appointment with our obgyn. My husband and I were so excited as well as our 3 year old daughter who was with us to see the baby for the first time. The ultrasound technician came in and began to do her measurements, the sac was still empty, we couldn’t believe our eyes, and we were DEVASTATED.
She said, “I’m sorry, but all I am seeing is a gestational sac measuring about 8 weeks and no baby, let me go grab the doctor.” We waited in the lobby for them to call me back to see the doctor and as we waited worry filled our hearts. We couldn’t help but question what was happening. The doctor called us back to her office and began to talk about blighted ovums, something we had never heard of. She explained that this happens when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus, but doesn’t develop into an embryo. When she began explaining this, I knew where the conversation was headed, she was about to tell us that this pregnancy would end in miscarriage.
My heart stopped while sitting there, listening to her tell us our baby didn’t exist and didn’t make it past the embryonic stage. I became angry and upset with her, and she offered us two options, to take a pill to start the miscarriage process or to wait a couple weeks and repeat the ultrasound to see if my weeks were just off.
Of course we decided on option number two, but every day we just kept thinking about losing our baby. How cruel is it, to take a pregnancy test and get a positive result only to be told weeks later that your baby didn’t make it past the beginning stages of growth. I also had to get a D&C due to all the tissue not passing on its own. Blighted ovums suck!
As these weeks go by, I feel empty, lost and hopeless. I try to stay positive and my husband encourages me every step of the way, without him I’d be lost and in a pit of darkness, but he brings light to my pain.
Angelica blogs at: https://blightedovumchangedmylife.wordpress.com/
Or you can email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org