Andria
Mom to “Juliet”
April 30, 2015
Indianapolis, Indiana
Luke and I were expecting a baby on Thanksgiving Day 2015 (well, the 24th but my ovulation was two days later than a 28 day cycle so the 26th if being exact on Thanksgiving Day). We were excited. A little nervous maybe about cultural response to our big family, but so happy to meet another little one. I was leery about the pregnancy though…I can’t really put my finger on it since I had normal symptoms and no abnormal ones. I just felt like there were so many things that could go wrong (which has always been true of pregnancy) even though I’ve never been a nervous person while expecting a baby. I ordered natural nail polish…that I didn’t like very much. I got protein powder just for pregnancy which cost too much in retrospect. I ordered a home use fetal doppler monitor so Luke and I could find the heartbeat and hear it the same time (normally I get to hear it solo at appointments because he is watching the other kids). Worried pregnant lady things like that. We tried to find the heartbeat several times, but at 9 weeks, we still couldn’t find it and that made me even more nervous because, even though the doppler I got was cheap, Luke’s education as a Emergency medicine physician was not and he knows how to use one. I put it all out of my mind while Luke and I enjoyed some time away in NYC together without the kids. Then I had an appointment on April 30th around 11 weeks after we arrived back home.


I just went for my first ultrasound yesterday and the doctor told me that there was no heartbeat. I am going to the ob today. Reading your story made me cry but also made me realize that it is ok for me to cry. I may not have had a lot of time with my baby but I loved him just the same. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray that this is the last miscarriage that I have (I had one in October at 6 weeks) because I do want more children and I pray that God blesses us with more. My daughter is 1 and I love her immensely but we want more children to fill our home and our hearts. I will never forget this baby and I will always love him.
Dear Noelle,
I hope this is the last loss for you as well and that you feel God’s nearness during such a hard time. I hope your physically well the next few weeks. Hugs to you and your family.