Mom to AJ

January 29, 2014

Grethel, Kentucky

We were trying to conceive for 6 years and nothing had happened in that time frame. I decided to start dieting and exercising and amazingly my periods started to come ever month, but I was still not pregnant. In 2013, we decided to find an OB to see what could be wrong after that long. We just knew something wasn’t right. My appointment was in August of 2013. That day we found out that I’ve been suffering from PCOS. That’s the reason why I couldn’t get pregnant, so my doctor decided to put me on Clomid (150mg tablets) to see what would happen. As me and my husband were leaving the appointment, we was so very happy and excited to finally know what had been going on and that we would have a chance at this. After the round of Clomid, I called and got my blood work results and they came back 13.7 for my progesterone level. As soon as I hung up the phone, I called my husband crying saying,”It worked baby!” I couldn’t believe it and was very surprised that it helped.

As the days went by and time rolled around to when my period was supposed to come, it didn’t! I decided to wait until I was 5 days late to take a test just to be sure. Surprisingly, I took a test and there were the 2 pink lines– something I thought I would never get to see and experience in my lifetime!! Weeks went on until my first appointment. Everything went fine and the ultrasound was great, heart rate was great and we finally had our gift from God and felt so blessed. As the weeks went by with every ultrasound, I noticed that things just didn’t look right to me. My baby was growing, but I also noticed it looked like my baby didn’t have room. I kept everything to myself hoping that everything was alright. At the 16-week ultrasound when we was so excited to find out the gender of our baby, the ultrasound technician said that she couldn’t tell and really couldn’t see anything, but the baby’s heartrate was great. At the 20-week ultrasound, we went in to try again to see what our baby was and still couldn’t tell.

My doctor referred me to a high risk doctor 2 hours away for our gender/anatomy scan. That appointment rolled around and on January 9, 2014, I was told that my baby didn’t have any fluid and they also couldn’t find the kidneys or bladder. This is why the ultrasound technician wasn’t seeing anything. As I was walking out of the doctor’s office, I was thinking, is this really happening to me and my husband about something we have prayed about for so long? All I wanted was to be in my husband’s arms. As we were walking out to the car, we held each other and cried.  
After my appointment on January 9, 2014, we was referred to a children’s hospital to get a second option because the high risk doctor was hoping he was wrong! There they did an MRI on the baby and Echo-cardiogram on my baby’s heart and another anatomy scan. It was a very long and tiring day. As me and my husband were awaiting the results, we were asked to be put in a big room with a every special doctor they had. They told us the devastating news that my high risk doctor was right; my baby had no kidneys and no bladder. They told us that our baby had Bilateral Renal Agenesis, also referred to as Potter Syndrome. My baby didn’t have a chance and this was 100% fatal. I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. My baby that I prayed for was not going to make it.
So with all the information we had and the outcome to this [we knew was inevitable], we decided to be induced at 24 weeks.The night before going into the hospital, I slept for maybe an hour. All I could think about was that this is the last night I’m going to be with my baby. This is the last night that I’m going to be pregnant with such an amazing gift from God. I was put in on January 28, 2014 and I gave birth to the most beautiful baby. All this time, I didn’t know what I was having. When my baby was delivered we [found out we] had a baby boy. He was born sleeping. He was so perfect and I couldn’t stop looking at him and touching his soft face.
This is something I’ve never heard of before in my life. It’s just amazing how something you have waited for and prayed for years for can be ripped away from you in a blink of an eye. I felt like I was hit with a MAC truck since everything was going great and all the tests were coming back great until the anatomy scan. This has been so very hard on me and my husband mentally. So count your blessings everyday, because you never know when they can be taken away. I now have an angel looking over me and I know I’m never alone.

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