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Stella

Mom to Eliannah Elisabeth Samuel

Stillborn October 4, 2014

Isaiah 14:24 “The LORD Almighty has sworn, Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen.”

This has been the verse of my life. I preach this verse to myself time and time again.

I was blessed to be pregnant with our third child after years of trying to conceive. From the moment I knew I was pregnant I knew I was having another beautiful girl. I started searching girl names and came across Eliannah, which means my God has answered me. It was so fitting and perfect since I had prayed for her, and The Lord answered my prayer. I felt such a strong bond with her from the very beginning. I have a very small frame and start showing early on in my pregnancies. I was seven weeks pregnant with a baby bump that I was so proud to show. I start feeling her move at 14 weeks. My children prayed for Eliannah every night. They prayed that God would keep her safe and healthy.


My pregnancies are high risk due to an abnormality with my uterus. I have a bicornuate uterus which essentially means my uterus is almost split in two. I have a higher risk of preterm labor for this reason. My pregnancy with Eliannah was going perfectly. She was growing at the normal speed and her beautiful heartbeat was always on point.

October 2, I was sitting at my desk at work when I felt Eliannah kick/move in such a strong way that you would normally feel at 8 or 9 months. Although I could feel her move early on, this time was unlike any other. My belly changed shape it was so strong, a few minutes later the amazing connection I had from day one seemed cut. I had this strange feeling that like this string that connected the two of us was cut. I remember sitting at my desk and asking The Lord on the heart if something was wrong. That was the last time I felt her move. That night I had a hard time sleeping. I felt like I was freezing and hot at the same time. Shivering in my bed.

I woke up the next morning to get ready for my doctors appointment. I felt fine unlike the night before. When it was time for my ultrasound, my baby girl wasn’t moving like she always was but I didn’t pay it any mind since I was concentrating more and what the nurse was doing. When she was done she told me she had to call the doctor because she could not find a heartbeat. At that moment I felt like my own heart stopped beating and I just began to sob uncontrollably. My daughter’s heart had stopped.

The following day I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. Although I was in so much emotional pain that I also felt it physically, I was thankful that God had allowed me the opportunity to see my little girl and hold her in my arms. I don’t understand why God willed my daughter’s heart to stop, but I take comfort knowing she is walking with Jesus. 

Instead of taking my daughter home to lay her in her crib, I had to take her to the cemetery and lay her in the ground. I was due to deliver the last week of this month (February 2015) and everyday is a struggle. Especially considering a friend of mine is due to deliver the same week as I was. God is good…all the time!! 

You can contact Stella at Stellasamuel1812@gmail.com.

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Comments

  1. It’s refreshing to see your faith in God. Tomorrow is one month since I laid my Abigail Grace to rest and it has been a huge struggle.

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