Even though I did not experience a stillbirth myself, I had two miscarriages several years ago. Back then in 1998, I never even really talked about them with anyone except my husband and my mother. The first one was 9 weeks and we just moved on and kept trying. I was lucky even though I was an older woman, I was able to conceive and give birth via C-section to my beautiful girl who is now 17 years old [at time of writing]!
While I nursed her, we didn’t use birth control. I guess I believed the old wives’ tale that if you breast feed exclusively, you won’t get pregnant. We had such a hard time conceiving in the first place! I can’t recall why exactly, but I went to the gynecologist (maybe it was routine after having the C-section three months before) and found out I was pregnant! I had not known! My daughter was three months old. Everything seemed fine, so I started the prenatal vitamins and was given an appointment for follow-up in about a month (earliest appointment). Well, three weeks later I started bleeding and cramping heavily. I ended up losing the baby and it was actually 13 weeks. We were so shocked. I had somehow gotten pregnant immediately when the doctor gave us the okay to become intimate again.
I never used birth control after that, and never again became pregnant. I still miss that precious lost baby, and our daughter is our only [living] child. I’ve written a poem about the loss of a child, and I wonder whether others who have lost their babies might gain some comfort from it.
Always My Baby
Forever perfect baby.