Mom to Baby Still
Born May 29, 2008
Charlotte, North Carolina
My husband and I had only been trying to get pregnant for about 3 months when I got my positive pregnancy test. It was Sunday morning and I woke my husband by saying, “Get up and ready for church! We need to go thank God for our baby!” and gave him the positive test. We were both ecstatic and took pictures of ourselves holding the test with big grins on our faces.
Four days after we moved in, I started having some cramping in the morning after my husband went to work. It was uncomfortable, but not enough that I thought much about it. While I was making macaroni for lunch, I felt a gush of liquid between my legs. I ran to the bathroom where I saw a lot of blood. I knew immediately that I was having a miscarriage. I scheduled an appointment with my OB to be seen that afternoon. In the meantime, I laid on my bed and then after the cramping subsided a little, I sat at the computer and researched bleeding while pregnant. I started feeling hopeful since there was no more bleeding and a lot of women online said they had some bleeding but didn’t have a miscarriage.
I went to the OB’s office and she performed an ultrasound. Unfortunately, there was no baby to be seen, but she could tell I had been pregnant by the thick walls of my uterus. I started bleeding again after the ultrasound. For days afterward, I bled and cramped more than a regular period. I was so depressed and hardly moved off the couch. I mourned for months and didn’t unpack boxes or set up the house. While I was pregnant, I was feeling like I was carrying a girl and now I feel strongly that that baby was a girl. I call her Lorelai Gracie, the name I had picked out for a girl the day before my miscarriage.