Mom to Breely Grace

November 27, 2012

Hartford, Kentucky

I lost my sweet Angel, Breely Grace on November 27, 2012. I was 39 weeks pregnant. I went in that morning around 9:00 a.m. for my weekly appointment. I was having contractions off and on, so I thought I was already in early labor. I brought her diaper bag as well as my hospital bag with me because I was prepared to be sent over to the hospital. I told my husband to keep his phone handy at work, just in case and sent my little boy to my mom’s with his overnight bag.

My whole pregnancy had been completely normal. This was my second pregnancy and my first was also completely normal. Every appointment and ultrasound was fine. Strong heartbeat, all my early blood work came back normal and I passed my glucose test. Very non-eventful pregnancy. Around 38 weeks, I noticed her movement had slowed down a great deal. I mentioned it to my doctor at my 38-week appointment, but after we heard the strong heartbeat, I was relieved and figured she was just in position and getting close to birth.

I wish so much I had asked for a non-stress test or had  been more concerned about her not moving much. This appointment was on the 21st of November, which was the day before Thanksgiving. The next few days we were so busy with Thanksgiving and getting ready for her birth that I cant even remember the last time I felt her move.  I was getting concerned again about her not moving and kept debating on going to the hospital, but never did because I thought this was normal for her and I had read toward the end of pregnancy, movement slows down. I don’t know if the outcome would be different had I gone to the hospital, but I can’t help but think she would still be here if it wasn’t for my own stupidity.

I had a dream that weekend almost exactly how the day we lost Breely went. I think this was God’s way of preparing me for what was about to happen. When I went in that morning on the 27th, which was 6 days after my last appointment, I was a little bit nervous. I kept thinking, as soon as I hear my baby’s heartbeat that it is going to be music to my ears. When my doctor put the doppler on my belly, there was nothing. I knew at that second my baby girl was gone. She went all over my belly with that thing, at one point I even thought about telling her to stop. She then rushed over to ultrasound with me and it was then that my worst nightmare was confirmed.

I gave birth to my angel later that day at 4:53 p.m. after being induced. She was a big girl. She weighed 8lbs 10oz and was 21 inches long.  She was so beautiful and perfect. After delivery, my doctor said that my placenta was very abnormal looking. It was sent off for testing.  Blood work also showed that I have some type of blood clotting disorder. I go back to the doctor next week [at time of submission] for my 6 week appointment and should then have the results back on my placenta, but right now my doctor thinks this was caused by a blood clot.

Everyday is a different day and a different mood. Some days are better than others. I have a 2 1/2 year old and he gives me something to look forward to. I honestly don’t know where I would be without him. I don’t cry much anymore and I am currently taking Zoloft; I think it’s helping a lot. I cannot quit thinking about my little girl. I replay that day over and over in my head everyday. Life would have been so perfect with her. I will never be the same without her. She was going to complete our family. I had all my paperwork signed to have my tubes tied and everything. Now our family will never be complete without her.

[Submission from early 2013, now posted with updates and a story of hope.]

I was told that more than likely, the blood clotting did not cause Breely to be stillborn. It normally causes miscarriages, which I’ve never had. It’s called MTHFR gene mutation. I was able to become pregnant again and gave birth to our second daughter, Sadie BreeAnn, on December 2, 2013, Breely Grace’s due date! During the pregnancy, I was put on baby aspirin each day. The high risk specialist I saw when I was pregnant with Sadie was the one who told me it didn’t cause my stillbirth, but my OB told me it did. I’ve always been so confused about it and there isn’t much research out there about MTHFR. We never got a definitive answer as to why this happened. Although the placenta looked abnormal, the tests came back fine.

You can contact Heather at: bbhwoods77@yahoo.com

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