Mom to Chloë Rutten
July 25, 2011 – July 28, 2011
My husband and I were so excited when we found out that we were pregnant. My pregnancy was going great, I couldn’t feel more like a woman/mother during this period. All ultrasounds and checks were ok and we were just waiting for our baby to be born. To see what the baby’s gender would be and how it would look like.
But on Monday the 25th of July 2011, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, it goes terribly wrong. That evening, I was brought to the hospital by ambulance because of serious belly ache. I passed out several times. By the time I arrived in the hospital I was in shock. I was rushed to surgery to get the baby out. In surgery they found out that I had an internal bleeding. I lost about 3.5 liters of blood.
At 23:59 hours, our beautiful daughter Chloë was born. The moment she was born, she was not breathing and looked very grey, so they helped her to get her breathing right. Her heartbeat was stable. She was so weak and not crying.
After surgery, I was brought to Intensive Care where I was kept asleep and on the respirator. My condition was stable at that time.
Later that night, Chloë was transferred to a specialized hospital because the doctors worried about her brain activity as a result of lack of oxygen. She needed cooling therapy.
My sister in law and my husband went to the hospital where Chloë was taken to. She was brought to the NICU. She was also on the respirator. Her temperature was brought to 33.5 C to minimize brain activity and brain damage.
While my husband was with Chloë, he got a telephone call from the other hospital that I was brought to surgery again because of another bleeding. My sister in law brought my husband back to me. In surgery, they found out that I had another 2.5 liters of blood in my belly. When I was back from surgery, I was brought with a mobile intensive care unit to the same hospital as Chloë.
Chloë wasn’t doing very well. She had two brain scans that showed no activity and this was probably caused by the lack of oxygen when I was experiencing belly ache pain on Friday.
I was doing better and after my condition was stable enough, I was able to see my daughter for the first time on Wednesday. When I was moved next to her, I could touch her ankle and she opened her eyes. Again, when I touched her belly, she opened her eyes and I gained some hope that she would survive. But later that day, we were told that there was nothing the doctors could do for Chloë anymore. Our sweet little princess would not make it. We had to let her go… on Thursday, they would stop the treatment.
On Thursday morning, the 28th of July, Chloë was baptized and she stayed with us the whole day. We could even hold her in our arms for the first time. In the afternoon our family would say goodbye to their granddaughter and niece.
At 19:00 hours, the respirator was stopped and at 21:00 hours she passed away in the arms of her proud daddy. My husband brought Chloë back to me when she was washed and dressed and she looked so beautiful. I wanted her staying in our room so I could watch her, touch her and talk to her.
We kept Chloë with us until Sunday, then she was brought to the mortuary. Laying in the arms of her daddy he decided to also bring her home so she could go to her bedroom, our living room, the garden. Chloë has been home also.
I was doing better and after a total 4 days of intensive care and 3 days of medicare, I was transferred back to the hospital closer to home and where Chloë was born on Monday. It was good for me to speak with the nurses who were there when she was born and who had taken care of me.
On Thursday I was recovered well and able to go home. That evening we had a gathering to say goodbye to our precious daughter for everyone who would do so. Together with our family and friends, we said goodbye to our sweet little princess on Saturday the 6th of August when she is cremated.
We’re so proud to be the mommy and daddy of Chloë, but it hurts that we had to let her go after 3 days…
We were so looking forward to have a child to take care of. We love her. We miss her… but she will always be our little girl.
Maureen writes at: http://www.chloerutten.vlindersite.nl/ (in dutch)
You can contact her at: email@example.com