Kimberlee

Mom to Elijah Alexander Larsen

Born still August 9, 2013

California

We found out we were pregnant with our third baby at only two and a half weeks, I was filled with joy! It had taken us a year almost to get pregnant. Each week kept passing and our pregnancy was so perfect. I had lost a lot of weight, but during week 17-19 I put on my first pounds, a total of 6! How exciting that was for me. I also had this beautiful big bump.

On Monday, August 5th I noticed I was having constant pain in my low back, low abdominal and some vaginal pain, however it wasn’t bad. I called the OB and made an appointment for Wednesday the 7th. I ended up cancelling it due to my husband finding work and them wanted him to start at 7am on that Wednesday morning. This was fine because I had already had my first high risk OB appointment set for Thursday, August 8th.

[I had a history of pprom and preterm labor with my other two]

On Tuesday, I felt some kicks that reassured me. We went to bed around midnight. At 3:30 am I woke up to some pain but quickly fell a sleep. I tossed and turned all night. At 5:30am I woke up to terrible pain. My entire stomach hurt, I tried a warm shower but it didn’t help. I started gagging and throwing up from the pain. The pain was indescribable and still is, it wasn’t contractions, it wasn’t pulling.. I don’t know what it was.

Thursday morning I went to my appointment at 8:30am. The doctor was lovely, she did a full exam, we talked about previous pregnancies and then had a plan on what to do with Elijah to prevent him from coming early. She said everything was perfect, she then asked if I would like a scan, one of those fun ones that you can’t say no to. Of course I said yes, even though I just saw him a few days ago. She turned it towards me but quickly turned it to herself. I watched her face turn from happy to instant pain, I knew something was wrong.

I was scared, my stomach had been feeling empty.. After a few minutes she told me that she was having a hard time finding the heartbeat and got another doctor to look. She too couldn’t find the heartbeat and told me our son had past away.

I got another ultrasound two hours later to do some growth measurements and to see if she could see if anything went wrong. The pain is still so raw, I layed in the room looking at the ceiling with clouds, praying over and over that this was mistake. I felt some kicks last night.. Everything looked perfect and so did Elijah. Right after she did amniocentesis (twice) and she wasn’t able to get any fluid out.

I was then admitted to the hospital to be induce. Labor was a total of 9 hours.

Elijah Alexander Larsen was born on August 9th, 2013 at 2:37am,
weighing 4.8 ounces and 8.5 inches long. He was born with a smile on his face and was perfect. He also had beautiful blonde eyebrows and hair.
 He had huge hands and the cutest feet, toes and fingers.

They don’t know what happened. My placenta and cord was tested, after a hard decision we decided to do an autopsy and they took a lot of my blood. All of my screenings came back normal for first and second trimester. My husband and I should hear back in about two weeks. The wait is excruciating, today has been awfully hard for me. All I think about is holding Elijah. I was 20 weeks and 1 day along when I delivered my baby boy. 

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Comments

  1. Angela says:

    Hello Kimberlee,

    My name is Angela Reziah and I also loss my angel Amia Dior Reziah born sleep 12-26-13 at 5:32am full term 40 weeks. Amia was our second child and we were expected another girl. Our warrior princess Laidia is two yrs old and was going to be a big sister! I was still working at my job and I went out on leave two or three weeks before my due date. I had a surprise babyshower at work and I’m a Receptionist so I’m the first person that everyone sees. I knew pple in the lobby, people knew me that passed in the hallway going to other floors in my building that knew I was expecting. My babygirl was starting to understand when I pointed at my belly that there was a baby in my belly and she would say “baby”. I was a few days late my due date was Dec 20th. I was ask to be induce on my birthday Dec 23rd and I just wanted it to happen naturally. All my test were good the stress test was fine she was moving and doing good. The pain of knowing that your going through a vaginal delivery and after I was given an ultrasound and told shortly after there’s no heartbeat she’s gone. The pain and confusion didn’t really set in until I came home and I thought the nurse was wrong it couldn’t be true. The bond you share from the womb with your baby and a piece of me died but even through her passing I want to keep her spirit alive through me. I would have never known about stillbirths and how many women go through loss in the US. Its a whole new world that I didn’t know about and our stories do matter. No one can understand our pain unless they’ve experience a death of a child and if I had a choice no one would want to go through this type of loss. I don’t know how the holidays will be for my husband and I. Children in the future will take time, prayer, and healing. If I could by pass this process I would but patience is a virture. I pray your strength and for your family as well.

  2. ChickinNH says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my precious baby one month ago at 19w6d. I am so very sorry for your loss of sweet Elijah. You are not alone. Sending you hugs and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my twin boys at 22.5 weeks in January, and I know the hurt you are feeling. I hope that you get the answers that you need. Many thoughts and prayers to you.

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