Jillian

Mom to Avalon

Lost May 29, 2010

Antelope, California

After having my daughter, I spent a few years trying to figure out the health problems that I was having. When we finally felt comfortable to try again for another little one, it took over a year to get pregnant. Thirteen long months. I was so relieved and excited when I felt off one morning, and had a positive pregnancy test later that day. The next day, I found out that my husband had been laid off. I felt sick. How were we going to afford this baby?  Otherwise, things were going well.  I felt “pregnant”. I hadn’t thrown up, but my stomach wouldn’t settle. I had told my daughter, and my mother. I started feeling like nesting, and was knitting little baby hats in neutral colors.  I had scheduled my first OB appointment.

I woke up the on Memorial Day weekend soaked in blood. I screamed for my husband, and I felt like I was going to pass out. We left our daughter with my mom, and went to the emergency room.  I had been 6 weeks and 1 day. An ultrasound showed no embryo, and my uterine lining was very thin. My blood work confirmed what I already knew. The pregnancy was over. I was in shock, and the sweet doctor sat down next to me to hold my hand.  We named our little angel Avalon.

I was pregnant again in just a few weeks, and had a healthy baby boy this past March. I love my son and daughter with all that I have, but I wish that I could hold all of my children. I found out recently that I carry both MTHFR mutations, and hope through supplementation that we can have another healthy pregnancy when the time comes.