Claudia

Mom to three little angels

Baby 1: Miscarriage at 8 weeks

Baby 2: Miscarriage at 8 weeks on February 23th, 2011

and

Gabrielle Marie
Born still July 2, 2012

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

My husband and I love children, and, like any young couple, we wanted to start our family and have many kids. But before we got married, my husband’s doctor told us that he had to go under surgery because he had a varicocele, and that would difficult him to get me pregnant; according to this diagnosis, without surgery, he couldn’t get me pregnant. But a couple of months after we got married, I went to the doctor for a regular checkup, while I was on what I thought it was my period, and that was when the doctor told me that was not my period but a miscarriage threat, and that I must keep rest. The next day that threat became a reality, I had a miscarriage.

Our second baby came a year and a few months later, this time we realized from day one that we were expecting. We took all the care necessary, we’re happy about the news, however at our eighth week, I started spotting. I went to my doctor’s office and he told us that the baby was not developing in the right way, neither the baby’s weight nor development corresponded to the weeks of pregnancy I had, and the spotting was a miscarriage threat, but my baby’s heart was still beating, and with a lot of care and rest my baby could make it. That same night, I woke up to go to the bathroom to pee, but instead of peeing, I bleed out. When I saw the blood, I knew I had lost the baby. The next morning we went to the doctor and in fact, I had a miscarriage and they had to do a curettage [D&C].

Ten months later, I was pregnant again, and, like the second time, I knew it right away; my nose was super sensitive, I was always sleepy and food made me nauseous. This time we had more care than ever, I stopped wearing heels, I cared more than ever for my diet and always went to my checkups.

At first, the doctor put me on progesterone pills ‘til the twentieth week. This time everything was going right. We were expecting a little girl, that we named Gabrielle Marie. The whole family was happy, my husband and I every night I talked to the baby and we played her music or sang to her, we never went to sleep without hearing her heart beat.

I was 39 weeks, due any moment from July 5. So, on July 2, I went to my last checkup, where they checked my weight, my blood pressure and then the baby’s heartbeat. However, the doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat, so the doctor told me that he would see how far long dilated I was. To our surprise I hadn’t dilated at all. The doctor did an ultrasound. The baby had died in my womb, her little heart that always was so strong had stopped beating, and she had defecated. First, I thought that the umbilical cord had strangled her, but it was very far from her neck. Then I thought that my water had broken, and since I was a first time mom I didn’t noticed, but my water never broke.

Two months have passed since my precious baby’s stillbirth and I still do not understand what happened to her. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her or think of her. I feel a huge emptiness and pain. I try to think positively but it’s not working. I miss not having her in my life.

You can contact Claudia at clauferd15@gmail.com.

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Comments

  1. Billie Jo says:

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your little Gabrielle Marie. I lost my daughter on July 16, 2012 at 40 weeks. I pray for all us angel mommies every night. It’s hard to understand why we were given these babies and then had them taken away. ♥

    • Claudia says:

      Thanks for your words, I also pray for all the mother’s and little angels that passes through this painful situation. Only God could give us the strength to support this., and give us the joy of some day becoming faces of hope. But the love for our loss babies will always be in our heart.

    • Taner says:

      - Beautiful! I love the perspective in this shot and the DOF and of cosrue her red hair! Oh, and I love your wedding post under this one and the newborn one under that!!February 15, 2011 10:23 am

  2. Latoya says:

    Claudia,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It is amazing how much you have gone through. I lost my baby at 37 weeks to a cord accident. Leah was my first child and every day I miss her terribly.

    I pray that God will bless you with healthy babies that you can hold in your arms, rock to sleep and watch grow up.

  3. Kizi says:

    My husband and I had been trying to conceive for over 2 years. After months of fertility treatment we found out we were pregnant with triplets. In week 20 my water broke and baby Sera was in distress. Three days later she passed and I went into labor. During delivery the doctors saw infection and advised us to induce labor for little Nyla and Zeke the next day. That was the hardest most heartbreaking decision we had to make. After 27 hours of labor I held little Zeke and Nyla in my arms for the hour that they were alive. Each day has been a struggle to even get up in the morning. I feel guilty for living and knowing that Zeke and Nyla are gone through a decision that I had to make. I know they were too small at 21 weeks to survive and I know that with the infection I could not have lasted for the 2 weeks extra they needed for any hope of survival. But I still feel as if I killed my babies. I keep trying to replay everything in my mind and wondering what I could have done differently. On Friday it would have been week 27 and I still find myself counting. I am so angry with myself, with my husband, and with God. My faith is gone.

  4. Cindy says:

    My first pregnancy went well… In 2007 I became mom of a beautifull baby boy.
    Little did I know what I had coming when my husband and I decided to get pregnant again…
    My second pregnancy ended as a miscarriage at only 6 weeks, it was october 2011.
    My third pregnancy also ended as a miscarriage at 9 weeks, There was a heartbeat, doctors couldn’t find anything wrong so they said it was simply “bad luck”, especially since we already had a healthy baby.
    So as I got pregnant for the fourth time in august 2012 I thought we’d be OK…
    But at week 19 I started spotting. The echo however showed a healthy baby so they said “don’t worry, at 20 weeks there is little chance that things can go wrong..”…. The day before my check up at 21 weeks I heard my babygirls heartbeat with the doppler angelsound so I didn’t worry to much for the check up…
    But when I had the echo the doctor said he couldn’t find a heartbeat no more… My husband and I simply couldn’t believe what was happening. I gave birth to our little angel on 4/12/2012, she was so beautiful but way too quiet. I miss her so much and I’m so afraid to be pregnant again. I can’t go through this again!
    Wishing everybody who has to go through this lots of strength!!

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