RaeAnne

Mom to Samuel Evan

Born and died April 14, 2012

North Mankato, Minnesota

After only a few months of trying, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first baby in September of 2011. We were overjoyed! We started preparing for him as soon as we knew he was there. We loved him so much and wanted him more than anything.

Then, our joy turned to horror when, during a routine ultrasound, the doctor noticed something was wrong with his kidneys. Our son, who we later named Samuel Evan, was diagnosed at 15 weeks gestation with a condition called Posterior Urethral Valves (PUV), a blockage in his urinary/bladder/kidney tract, and we were told he would not live. Our hearts were broken and our dreams shattered.

The doctors’ recommended termination, but because we loved our son dearly we knew we could never do that. So, instead of ending it, we chose make the most of his short life and enjoy every second we had with him. We read to him, sang to him, talked to him and did all we could to shower him with love.

At 35 weeks, he was born on April14, 2012 at 6:28pm and lived for four hours.

We are so completely heartbroken to live without him and we miss him so much. We wish with all our might this didn’t happen, but we know we made the right choice and we wouldn’t trade those memories of our time with him for the world. He is our little love and we will miss him every day for the rest of our lives.

RaeAnne blogs at http://www.imnotingwithoutyou.blogspot.com.

You can contact her at rememberingSamuelEvan@gmail.com.

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Comments

  1. Lacie says:

    RaeAnne,

    I just want you to know that Samuel is an amazing blessing to this earth. He may not walk here or laugh here, but he is watching over you. He was the perfect little person. Too many people try to tell us our babies aren’t like other people. They didn’t live long enough, but I disagree! I think that they have lived to show us the most amazing kind of love–to prove we have the capacity for such a beautiful entity. Hang in there!

  2. Stephanie says:

    RaeAnne, so sorry for the loss of your precious Samuel. I peeked at your blog story and photos, you truly gave him a beautiful life.
    I carried my daughter Gemma 11 weeks after her fatal daignosis, too. It was so hard, but like you, I am glad to have had the opportunity.
    Thanks for sharing.

    • RaeAnne says:

      Stephanie,
      I’m sorry to hear about your little Gemma <3. I run a group for families who carry to term after a fatal diagnosis. You are welcome to join. It's a place to share your story, find support and help others facing the same situation.

      All That Love Can Do: Support for families who are carrying a baby (or babies) with a fatal condition. We offer support and encouragement during the pregnancy and love and hope after they are gone. Any family who is currently carrying, or has lost, a baby or babies with a fatal condition is welcome to join. Like ATLCD at https://www.facebook.com/AllThatLoveCanDo?ref=ts&fref=ts, join the private group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/allthatlovecando/ and find help and resources at http://allthatlovecando.blogspot.com/ . You are not alone. We’re here to help in anyway we can as you courageously face this journey. <3

      Hugs,
      RaeAnne

  3. Sarah says:

    Hi RaeAnne-

    I too carried to term with a fatal diagnosis.

    What a beautiful thing you chose for your child! I am so happy that you got to spend so much time with him before he continued on his journey home…

    • RaeAnne says:

      Hi Sarah,
      Thank you for your comment.

      I run a group for families who carry to term after a fatal diagnosis. You are welcome to join. It’s a place to share your story, find support and help others facing the same situation.

      All That Love Can Do: Support for families who are carrying a baby (or babies) with a fatal condition. We offer support and encouragement during the pregnancy and love and hope after they are gone. Any family who is currently carrying, or has lost, a baby or babies with a fatal condition is welcome to join. Like ATLCD at https://www.facebook.com/AllThatLoveCanDo?ref=ts&fref=ts, join the private group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/allthatlovecando/ and find help and resources at http://allthatlovecando.blogspot.com/ . You are not alone. We’re here to help in anyway we can as you courageously face this journey. <3

      Hugs,
      RaeAnne

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