Mom to an angel

Miscarried February 16, 2012

Hickory, North Carolina

My husband and I got married September 3, 2010 and began trying to conceive pretty much right away. I had very irregular cycles already and I decided to see my doctor about having some tests done. I was diagnosed with PCOS in May of 2011. After discovering I am resistant to oral fertility medications and one failed round of intra-uterine insemination, we decided to take a break from fertility treatments. I was not expecting to be able to become pregnant on my own in the mean time.

Around the beginning of February 2012 I started to feel really tired, nauseated, and my breasts were very tender. I brushed it off as PMS, thinking there was no way I could actually be pregnant. On the morning of February 16th I woke up in extreme pain. It felt like really bad cramps and gas pain at first, and got worse very quickly. My husband rushed me to the emergency room, where what we were already feared was happening: I was having a miscarriage. It was devastating for us.

I have struggled a lot since that morning. I really blamed myself for a long time afterwards, because I had a few drinks and exercised more than usual in the weeks leading up to my miscarriage. I’m starting to let go of that self blame but it’s still something I have to work on. I think about my baby every day, and I don’t think that will ever stop. Although it’s only been a few months, we are starting to feel ready to start trying again. I am learning to look forward to tomorrow instead of focusing on the past. I will never forget what has happened, but I’m ready to have hope for the future again.

You can contact Tricia at

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  1. Tricia – I’m so sorry for your loss. We suffered a miscarriage when we didn’t know it was possible either. We’re now waiting for infertility treatments. I know how devastating it is to lose a baby when it’s more than you ever hoped for. *hugs*

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