July 28, 2012 By 6 Comments

Erica

Mom to Hope Allison

Lost August 11, 2011

Rhode Island

My boyfriend, Brandon, and I met in kindergarten. We’ve lived in the same neighborhood for as long as I can remember.  The summer before our senior year of high school we started dating seriously.  He quickly became my best friend. We talked about our bright future together, getting married someday and having children in the future.  Being stupid teenagers, we thought the pull-out method was an effective birth control.  We were wrong. In April of our senior year of high school, I found out I was pregnant. Being only 17 and totally dependent on our parents, we were so scared.  However, both of us have awesome sets of parents and after the initial shock, they agreed to help us until we could both finish school. We made an appointment with my OB/GYN immediately.  I had an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and determine how far along I was.  I was 6 weeks on the day of the ultrasound.  My due date was December 21, 2012.  I was scared to death, but I loved my baby more than anything already.  I started researching everything I could to ensure I had a healthy pregnancy.  I figured I was already one step ahead since I don’t drink or smoke and I never have.  We started to get excited, despite my all-day morning sickness. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 20 weeks, 2011, Anencephaly, D and E, Rhode Island
July 28, 2012 By 1 Comment

Susan

Mom to Baby A,
Lost April 10, 2009 at 5 weeks

and

Baby M,
Lost April 26, 2010 at 8 weeks

I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but circumstances in my life had always seemed to conspire against it.  So when I had a positive pregnancy test just three weeks before my 40th birthday, I felt overjoyed and blessed.  The doctors estimated that I only five weeks along and had only known about my pregnancy for a short time, but just knowing I was pregnant flooded my heart will a profound love. I never felt calmer and more peaceful in my life. The feeling of that first pregnancy was magical. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2009, 2010, 5 weeks, 8 weeks, Early Miscarriage, Grief and loss, Multiple loss
July 28, 2012 By 3 Comments

Sara

Mom to Izah Elezaer Zeyeden Abell

Born February 21, 2012 at 20 weeks

Elko, Nevada

Here is how my story goes: I am a proud mother of 7 wonderful kids; I have 3 boys and 4 girls. I have always wanted a big family and now I have one. I was recently pregnant with our 8th baby. When I went in to get a checkup, I found out that my baby was gone…the little one never made it through the first trimester. We were heartbroken, our lives turned upside down. In one moment, we were going to have a baby, and the next the baby was gone. I went around feeling bad and like somehow it was my fault. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 20 weeks, 2012, Early Miscarriage, Nevada, Stillbirth
July 21, 2012 By 3 Comments

Lisa

Mom to Finley

Born March 23, 2012 and died March 26, 2012
in Naples, Italy

From Canada, but currently lives in
Winchester, England

My husband and I were married in July 2011 and 2 days later we moved to Italy on a military posting. About 2 weeks after being in Italy is when we found out we were expecting.

There is a British midwife who helps with the care there, but my care was mostly done in an American naval hospital, which is where I would deliver.

I had early scans at 7 and 9 weeks, then the regular scans at 12 and 20 weeks. We had the detailed scans at a private clinic in Naples, as the American hospital did not have machines that would scan in enough detail. At the 20 week scan, it was observed that there was high blood pressure in one of the arteries in the cord, which was giving reduced blood flow to our son. The American doctor was not overly concerned by this. We were told he would likely be small though. I was also told I would be closely monitored and that if at any point they were concerned, I would deliver in an Italian hospital, as they don’t have the facilities to deal with high risk situations in the American one. I went on to have more scans at 24, 28, and 32 weeks. By 32 weeks, although Finley was small (approx. 25th percentile), the pressure problem had corrected itself and they were happy with the consistency of his growth. I was put as low risk. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2012, 38 weeks, Canada, Cord accident, england, Italy, Neonatal death, NICU, nuchal cord, seizures, true knot
July 21, 2012 By 2 Comments

Karen

Mom to Logan James
Born December 7, 2008 and died December 9, 2008

and

An angel lost September 29, 2011

Pittsfield, Massachusetts

I’d like to share my story because I feel that it is a very unique situation. I’ve kept the loss very private and close to my heart and have only been sharing my feelings with family and close friends. But recently, I’ve felt the need to go online and read about other mom’s stories and struggles through their journeys of loss.

It’s comforting to know that I am not alone and there are others out there who know EXACTLY how I feel. I think the people in our everyday lives can be supportive, but only to a certain point. The loss of our children, whether still in our womb or newly born needs a special kind of support that only us moms can provide. And the everyday struggles we endure as we watch other mothers who have not had to endure our pain. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2008, 2011, 37 weeks, Abruption, Accident, Early Miscarriage, massachusetts, Neonatal death, NICU
July 13, 2012 By 3 Comments

Emily

Mom to Landon James

Born still September 4, 2006

Lebanon, Missouri

I was 25 weeks pregnant. I woke up on Thursday August 31st, 2006 with a sick feeling in my stomach. I had a sick feeling in my stomach every time I woke up, because I had non –stop morning sickness during my pregnancy, but this was different. My whole body was swollen. It felt as if my fingertips would bust open at any second. Something wasn’t right… but I blamed it on my ever changing body during this pregnancy. I thought this was just another side-effect that I would have to deal with. I got up as usual, went to class. I was taking a full load this semester so I wouldn’t get behind. I didn’t want to be one of those teen moms that didn’t amount to anything. I wanted to get my degree and be able to give my son everything that he deserved. I pushed on through the day, then after class went to work. I was a secretary at a law firm where my step mom worked. When I got there that afternoon, I showed her my ankles and my hands. She said that was just part of it. That evening when I got home I kept my feet propped up, trying to relieve some of the swelling. I fell asleep with several pillows under my legs that night. I remember laying there and putting my hands on my belly, feeling Landon kick. He was always very active when I lay down to go to sleep. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2006, 25 weeks, Missouri, Preeclampsia, Stillbirth
July 13, 2012 By 5 Comments

Rebecca

Mom to Poppy Kate
Born still December 15, 2011,

Five tiny angels, each lost at 5 weeks
April 2009, April 2010 and November 2010,

and

Heterotopic twins (one ectopic, one uterine)
Lost at 6 weeks and 11 weeks in January 2011

Melbourne, Australia

From Rebecca’s blog post: 2011…the year that, well, sucked:

It seems as though the best place to start is to get all of the terrible, awful stuff that happened last year out on the table, so you know what you’re getting into.  It gives you some perspective as to where I’m coming from.  Don’t get me wrong, my life is definitely not crap.  I have a wonderful husband, let’s call him G, and he’s my soul mate and my strength.  Not to mention the love of my life :) . We have a little boy, Xavier, who is known by many nicknames, including ‘X’, ‘Xav’, ‘Xavi’ and ‘Trouble’.  He took a bit of work to get, 2 years of TTC and 6 months of the fertility drug, Clomid, before we fell pregnant with him.  Xavier is now 5, and about to start school.  We have a great extended family; G’s parents and my dad and his partner all live nearby, along with a couple of our siblings.  Everyone else lives near enough that we see them often and we have an array of nieces and nephews (even a grand niece!) who Xav loves playing with.  We have great friends and workmates, who are a big support to us and lots of fun to hang out with! [Read more...]

Filed Under: 11 weeks, 2009, 2010, 2011, 34 weeks, 5 weeks, 6 weeks, Australia, Early Miscarriage, heterotopic pregnancy, Infertility, Multiple loss, recurrent miscarriage, Stillbirth
July 13, 2012 By 9 Comments

Karly

Mom to Savion DeNiro Johnson

Born still June 27, 2012

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

It has been exactly 2 weeks since my baby died. There are no words to take my pain away. Me and my boyfriend Stacy have been together for just shy of 4 years now. We have never once gotten pregnant as much as I wanted to until October 2011! My period had been late and so like all women I rushed to the store and get 2-6 pregnancy tests, because 1 can never be right! It was positive, I had never been happier except for with my other pregnancy 5 years ago. I have a daughter who is 5 years old, turning 6 on December 26th. Me and my partner had some very bumpy times during my pregnancy; we even split up in the beginning of it. I remember the first little flutter that grew into strong little kicks, tumbles and flips. I was healthy; I quit smoking, I did everything most women do to take care of yourself during pregnancy! My daughter and I would sit up at night and she would talk to him and was so excited to be a big sister. I was the happiest I had been in a long time. Stacy and I got back together at the end of April. He would laugh at our son because we would be laying in bed and if Stacy put his arm around me, Savion would kick like crazy! I knew Savion was special, he was so strong already. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2012, 39 weeks, No heartbeat, Stillbirth, Wisconsin
July 13, 2012 By 4 Comments

LaTanya

Mom to Kennedy Joi

Born April 14, 2012 at 24 weeks
Died May 21, 2012

Chicago, Illinois

My water broke week 22 of my pregnancy. A pregnancy that we had been working at for the past year and half and finally, through the use of 3 IUI sessions, Kennedy Joi was conceived in November 2011. I had a great pregnancy, no morning sickness, adjusted really well but nervous up through the 1st trimester, so was not very open until we got past that 12 week mark. Being pretty healthy before pregnancy and not having any real problems, my water breaking at 22 weeks was alarming for my husband and me. We assumed with all the medical advancements that it would be something that could be fixed, but after being in hospital for 2 days and having numerous ultrasounds, we knew we were in for something more. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2012, 24 weeks, Illinois, Infertility, IUI, NICU, pPROM, premature birth, Renal Failure
July 13, 2012 By 2 Comments

Rachel

Mom to Gabriel

Miscarried February 24, 2012
at 15 weeks 3 days

Mount Sterling, Kentucky

My son was 16 months old when my husband and I found out we were expecting our second child. We were nervous for a bunch of different reasons. We didn’t know how we could afford two children and I felt kind of bad for bringing another child into the world when my son didn’t even know what was going on. I felt like I wasn’t going to have as much time to spend with him. But as the news grew on us we became more and more excited! I couldn’t help but look at baby clothes every time we would go to the store. I was really hoping for a little girl since I already had my son, but as long as it was healthy was all I cared about. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 15 weeks, 2012, Kentucky, Missed Miscarriage, No heartbeat, Second trimester loss
July 13, 2012 By 3 Comments

Kim

Mom to Daniel James

Born May 18, 2012

Pittsburg, Pennsylvania

My husband Tyler and I decided to start trying for a baby at the beginning of 2012.  We were excited and surprised to get pregnant right away!  I took a pregnancy test on Sunday, January 29th and was thrilled to see “Pregnant”!! We went to church later that morning and were so thankful to God for the blessing of this new life created.   I called the doctor the next day and scheduled my first prenatal appointment for when I would be 6 weeks pregnant.  We had our first appointment and after we got the official confirmation at the doctor’s, we started calling and visiting our parents and siblings to share the great news.  We asked them not to say anything until we got further along in the pregnancy, as I had already been reading a lot about pregnancy and I knew what the risks of miscarriage in the first trimester were.  5 days after we told our families, I started spotting a little bit.  I called the doctor right away and she scheduled an ultrasound for me.  I was so nervous going to that ultrasound, but breathed a huge sigh of relief and my eyes welled with tears of joy as I saw our little baby’s heart beating away.  I got a picture to take home, and I was so amazed at how tiny, but how perfectly formed our baby was.  I framed the ultrasound picture and kept it on our bedroom dresser to look each and every day.  [Read more...]

Filed Under: 19 weeks, 2012, D and E, Late Miscarriage, No heartbeat, Pennsylvania, Second trimester loss
July 13, 2012 By 3 Comments

Eva

Mom to Brianna

Born and died July 8, 2010

Toa Baja, Puerto Rico

I discovered I was pregnant on Christmas Eve 2009.  I saw a very faint second line on the pregnancy test.  I then confirmed it on Christmas Day.  It was the best gift ever.  Having had a blighted ovum two years before, I considered her my rainbow baby and we were happy to have been blessed again.

I always wanted to have a girl.  Really wanted a girl.  With my first pregnancy I had a boy.  A wonderful, magnificent, perfect little boy without whom I couldn’t imagine my days.   And this being my last child, I definitely wanted a girl.  From the beginning, I felt the baby was a girl.  Mother’s instinct, I guess.  We officially found out she was indeed a girl on March 26, 2010.  I was soooo happy.  It was amazing.  I couldn’t believe God was blessing me not only with my beloved boy, but with the girl I always wanted.  Life was good. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2010, 32 weeks, hydrops, Neonatal death, Puerto Rico, Rainbow baby
July 7, 2012 By 5 Comments

Melissa

Mom to Kristiana

Born and died April 27, 2010

Lynn, Massachusettes

I found out I was pregnant in late August 2009 right after my 27th birthday. I thought it was the best birthday present anyone could ever give me. Being a mother was all I ever wanted. My pregnancy seemed normal until February 24, 2010. I was 27 weeks pregnant and went for what I thought was a routine ultrasound. I brought my Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, and my daughter’s Godmother to this appointment. The ultrasound tech asked my family to leave and told me a doctor would be in to see me. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2010, 35 weeks, Fatal Diagnosis, massachusetts, Neonatal death, Trisomy 13
July 7, 2012 By 2 Comments

Amy

Mom to Eli Walker Weatherly

Born still April 18, 2012

Dallas, Texas

After 3 years of marriage, and serious struggles with infertility, my husband and I finally conceived our first child together. He was a boy, who we named Eli Walker. We could not have been any happier to find out that the week of our 3rd wedding anniversary we had finally been given the answer to our prayers. A baby. A baby boy, nonetheless. We went through the first 13 weeks as happy as two clams in our shells. There was nothing that could bring us down off of the high that we experienced knowing that we were going to finally start a family after such a tough journey with infertility. At 14 weeks we got a call from the maternal-fetal specialist that my OB had sent me to for a preliminary Downs Syndrome scan. The results of that test showed that our baby had a 1 in 11 chance of having Trisomy 13 or 18, but no risk of Downs. Trisomy 13 & 18 are little more than a death sentence of the chromosomal deficiency type. We did every test available, with the exception of an amniocentesis, to determine if he was going to be affected with T 13 or T18. After 4 weeks of tests and waiting for results, we got the answer that we were hoping for. No evidence of T 13 or 18 with Eli. Praise God! [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2012, 27 weeks, Infertility, Reverse Diastolic Flow, Stillbirth, Texas
July 7, 2012 By 2 Comments

Abby

Mom to Jonah Bentley Willis
Born still February 1, 2012

and

Harper Bailey Willis
October 18, 2012 – October 19, 2012

Moultrie, Georgia

I was 26 weeks and 4 days pregnant with my first child. My husband, Aaron, had been out of town for a National Sales Convention for work. I went to Dr. Bruhn on Tuesday, January 24 for my scheduled appointment. This was the only appointment that Aaron had not been able to make so Sarah, my twin sister, went with me. At this appointment I had to do the whole glucose tolerance test thing and I was thrilled when the nurse told me that my blood sugar levels and hemoglobin were both perfect. Dr. Bruhn got out her hand-held Doppler and listened to Jonah’s heart beat at 150 beats per minute. She assured me that everything looked great and she would see me back in four weeks. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2012, 26 weeks, bicornuate uterus, First child, Georgia, Incompetent Cervix, No heartbeat, Preterm labor, Stillbirth
July 7, 2012 By 1 Comment

Gillian

Mom to Carter Cooper Barry

Born sleeping October 20, 2011 at 38 weeks 2 days

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

October 20, 2011.

It was a day like nothing I have ever gone through, or nothing I ever want to go through again.

I woke up on Wednesday, October 19 and got my 3-year old, Jackson, ready for our day. I babysit another child, so I was able to stay home with Jackson, who I still have a hard time separating from. We went to the drop-in at our neighbouring school, where Jackson will attend when he goes next year. I was 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant…I am so busy every day that I noticed movement from the baby mostly in the evening. I went to the drop in and really didn’t feel movement, so when we got home I put the kids down for a nap, and drank a cold glass of milk…nothing, then juice…nothing. I called my doctor and no answer, so I left a message. I called the hospital and they said to come in. The kids woke up and I called the mother of the child I babysit and asked her to come and get her daughter a little early. I had to go to the hospital to see what was going on. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2011, 38 weeks, Canada, Fullterm, Ontario, Stillbirth, true knot
July 7, 2012 By 13 Comments

Dondelyn

Mom to an angel lost June 2011 at 4 weeks,

An angel lost February 2012 at 6 weeks,

and

Jaeden Wise, lost June 28, 2012 at 14 weeks 4 days

Mililani, Hawaii

Today marks the one week anniversary of the death of my beautiful baby boy, Jaeden. Even though he was not my first miscarriage, losing him hurt the worst. I lost my firstborn child due to my incompetent cervix two weeks after losing my dog in a car accident. Here is my story:

I remember growing up as a young girl and into a young woman never wanting children. Even when my husband and I first got married, we decided that were not going to have any children, that we were happy with my step-daughter. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 14 weeks, 2011, 2012, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, Early Miscarriage, Hawaii, Incompetent Cervix, Late Miscarriage, Multiple loss, Second trimester loss
July 7, 2012 By 3 Comments

Kathy

Mom to Adam

Born still June 11, 2012

Santa Clara, California

I found out I was pregnant in October 2011. I was 31 years old and this was my first, and I waited to tell everyone until December 2011, after our ultrasound, to make sure he was healthy.  My pregnancy was going well until week 32 when I went in for early contractions and they found too much amniotic fluid; the level was at 26, and I was also dilated to 2 cm at this point.  I was hospitalized for a few days and sent home with meds for the contractions and told to take it easy. [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2012, 40 weeks, California, Cord Compression, First child, Fullterm, Stillbirth
July 4, 2012 By 9 Comments

Chirleen

Mom to Caleb Reed Evans

Born still April 17, 2012

Hertford, North Carolina

I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now, but it never seemed to be the “right” time.  I have kept that night close to my heart but have managed to get a lot of the details out of order and confused in my head.  My mom was thoughtful enough to take photos immediately following Caleb’s birth.  It must have taken an incredible amount of strength to do what she did; looking at the photos I know it must have been difficult to hold the camera steady to capture those precious moments.  I will forever be grateful to her.  These photos tell a story that although I was present for physically, my heart was trying so hard to be somewhere else, where Caleb’s heart was still beating and where Caleb would hear our voices as we told him how much we love him… [Read more...]

Filed Under: 2012, 22 weeks, Cord Compression, Early Miscarriage, Incompetent Cervix, North Carolina, PCOS, Stillbirth

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