Mom to angels lost in June 2011 and January 2012
In the past year I have been pregnant 5 times. Each pregnancy has been different, unique in its own way. Each has changed me and forced me to become a more accepting, understanding and patient person. May 2, 2011 I found out I was pregnant for the first time. It was unplanned but a welcomed surprise. During this pregnancy I was naive – positive, hopeful and unaware of the possibility of loss. We were thrilled to see the heartbeat and growing baby but weeks later the heartbeat stopped. Closure for this pregnancy was the easiest of all because I got married 2 weeks later. My pain was turned to joy and excitement…and so began our life of TTC – ovulation kits, lots of sex and hundreds of pregnancy tests.
We got pregnant on our honeymoon, just a month after the D&C, and had a biochemical pregnancy (in August). I was determined to start a family and so, against what my body was telling me we got pregnant again in September – another biochemical pregnancy. At this point we decided to undergo 50+ blood tests, chromosomal analysis and saw a fertility doctor – we were normal – no reason for loss. This was the most devastating news because it gave us no hope – if nothing was wrong why did this keep happening?
Two days before Thanksgiving we found out I was pregnant, again. This time things were different. I had morning sickness and the ultrasounds showed growth and a healthy heartbeat. We were elated. We shared our news on Christmas, at 9 weeks. On my 26th birthday an ultrasound found that our baby had no heartbeat. Two days later I had another D&C and the remains were sent for genetic testing – a boy with Trisomy 8 and 18.
February was a blur – finding out the gender made everything more real to me. In March we met with our fertility doctor to discuss a plan – I surrendered to IVF. We agreed to try one more time naturally in May and then to do IVF in the summer. I did the Clomid challenge (50 mg of Clomid on days 5-9), had an HSG and did hormone blood checks in preparation for IVF. The blood work showed I have high FSH and low AMH – meaning I have poor quality eggs. Two days after hearing this news my husband and I went on a vacation – a mental sanity vacation to help heal us and prepare of us for the upcoming months.
Perhaps it was because I had stopped “trying,” I was relaxed, we had a plan or maybe it was the hormone drugs – whatever the reason 8dpo I got a positive pregnancy test. My HCG and progesterone levels were insanely high even before my period was due. On April 16, we found out that we are expecting triplets! Today I am 11w2d – all 3 babies are the same size, have healthy heartbeats, are moving and growing appropriately. I am no longer naive – I know that anything can happen at any week for any reason – but I am hopeful. I am hopeful that this is our chance to become a family.
You can contact Bridget at email@example.com.