Sandra
Mom to Lara Taina
Born still May 19, 1996
Bronx, New York
Today is May 19, 2012. Sixteen years ago (1996), I delivered my Lara Taina. Sadly, she was still born due to umbilical strangulation. She would have been 16 years old today.
I had a beautiful pregnancy with her. On my birthday of that year I went for a regular checkup and was shocked to discover that there was no heartbeat in my womb. I delivered my baby three days later; my husband and I were allowed to hold her before departing from her. She weighed 7 lbs, 11 ounces and measured 20 inches. The bereavement social worker took a picture of her but I did not want to hold the picture at the time so I asked that she hold it for me.
We buried our Lara Taina with funeral and cemetery services donated by the local church and cemetery. When I was ready to see my baby’s picture I called the bereavement nurse (about two weeks later), but unfortunately she said the picture was nowhere to be found. I remember falling on my bed and sobbing like a child. I remember exactly how my baby looked. I can’t draw to save my life. If I could draw I would; instead I look for her face in angel statues and baby dolls, or when I’m in museums or anywhere I see angels. I’m not infatuated or obsessed by it but it’s always in the back of my mind. I have a lock of her hair, her footprints, and my hospital bracelet. I would like to find an artist who has the patience to sit with me and let me describe her. Lara Taina has a new sister. We had a baby girl two years later. She’s the joy of our lives; she’s now 13 years old and preparing to attend high school. We visit Lara Taina’s cemetery periodically and place flowers on her grave. Tomorrow I will place a happy sweet 16th birthday card on her grave.
You can contact Sandra at sbocasio@yahoo.com.
Sandra, I’m so very sorry about the loss of your sweet girl. That is horrible with the picture; how could she lose it?! I really hope you find that artis one day. It shouldn’t be impossible you know, not at all. I’m sure that having your little girl’s picture could be a great comfort to you, but until then, her picture is safe in your heart. Wishing you peace and healing.