Sandra

Mom to Lara Taina

Born still May 19, 1996

Bronx, New York

Today is May 19, 2012.  Sixteen years ago (1996), I delivered my Lara Taina.  Sadly, she was still born due to umbilical strangulation.  She would have been 16 years old today.

I had a beautiful pregnancy with her. On my birthday of that year I went for a regular checkup and was shocked to discover that there was no heartbeat in my womb.  I delivered my baby three days later; my husband and I were allowed to hold her before departing from her. She weighed 7 lbs, 11 ounces and measured 20 inches. The bereavement social worker took a picture of her but I did not want to hold the picture at the time so I asked that she hold it for me.

We buried our Lara Taina with funeral and cemetery services donated by the local church and cemetery.  When I was ready to see my baby’s picture I called the bereavement nurse (about two weeks later), but unfortunately she said the picture was nowhere to be found.   I remember falling on my bed and sobbing like a child.  I remember exactly how my baby looked. I can’t draw to save my life.  If I could draw I would; instead I look for her face in angel statues and baby dolls, or when I’m in museums or anywhere I see angels.  I’m not infatuated or obsessed by it but it’s always in the back of my mind. I have a lock of her hair, her footprints, and my hospital bracelet. I would like to find an artist who has the patience to sit with me and let me describe her. Lara Taina has a new sister. We had a baby girl two years later. She’s the joy of our lives; she’s now 13 years old and preparing to attend high school.  We visit Lara Taina’s cemetery periodically and place flowers on her grave.  Tomorrow I will place a happy sweet 16th birthday card on her grave.

You can contact Sandra at sbocasio@yahoo.com.