Ashley

Mom to Gentry Ann, born and died February 25, 2012
and
Savannah Elizabeth, born and died February 26, 2012

Memphis, Tennessee

I found out I was pregnant on November 9, 2011, after our first attempt at IVF. We found out we were expecting twins on November 28. After almost two years of trying to get pregnant, we were so excited to be expecting two babies. At the first ultrasound it was found that I had a subchorionic hematoma (SCH) next to Baby A, but it was small enough to not be much of a concern. The day after I was released from my fertility doctor, I was in the ER for heavy bleeding. But, an ultrasound showed both babies were doing great. The bleeding was from my SCH. We ended up at the ER again a month later for more bleeding, but again both babies were fine. At that time I was ordered to bed rest for three weeks. After about 3.5 weeks the bleeding quit, for the first time my entire pregnancy (at almost 17 weeks pregnant).

On Saturday, February 25th I started having terrible pains in my hips and lower abdomen, but I just chalked it up to growing pains and went on to work. We were having an event at one of our stores, so it was a busy day that needed me there. As the day went on, the pain only got worse, almost crippling. I asked to leave work and called my husband. Upon hearing how much pain I was in, he immediately left work and called my parents. I stopped at my parents’ house because they only live 2 minutes from the store I was working at. My parents weren’t there at the time, but they came home to check on me. My dad immediately called 911, just as I had a gush of blood. I knew something wasn’t right; this was different from any bleeding I had ever experienced with the SCH. I just knew I was losing my babies.

Thankfully the fire station is only 5 blocks from my parents’ house, so the ambulance arrived quickly. They immediately loaded me up and took me to the hospital.

The hospital hooked me up to a contraction monitor to see if that’s what the pain was from…it was. I was in labor at 19 weeks, 3 days. I knew this wasn’t good because if the babies were to be born, they were too early to be saved. When they took me back for an ultrasound, the tech asked 3 or 4 times if I was sure we were having twins because she only saw one baby – not good. After much searching, she found Baby A in my cervix with no heartbeat. We had already lost one of our babies.

Once they took me back to my room in the ER, they told me they had to wait on the doctor to come in. She explained that I would have to deliver Baby A, and they weren’t sure what would happen to Baby B – it would be a wait and see. After about two hours in the ER, I was moved to labor and delivery. It was a place I didn’t want to see for many more weeks, but there I was, knowing I had to deliver one of my babies and possibly lose the other too. At 11:29pm on 2/25 Baby A was born. An ultrasound after showed Baby B still bouncing around, so we prayed for a miracle.

After a sleepless night, I began experiencing labor pains again at 6:30am on 2/26. I was calling the nurses for more epidural, and it was taking forever for anyone to come. I knew Baby B was right there, so I called the nurses in, but there was no doctor. At 7:02am, Baby B was born (with no pain meds or assistance from nurses or a doctor). She was kicking when she came out, I could feel her moving against my legs. She only lived a minute or a two.

In a short time span, we had lost both of our sweet girls – Gentry & Savannah.

They say the cause was incompetent cervix, but I think there is no way to know for sure what happened.

Nothing can ever prepare you for the death of your children. This has been the hardest thing I have ever been through. The week we had planned to buy there cribs, we were instead we picking out their casket and burial place.

I will forever treasure the 5 months I had the girls, especially the 3 weeks I got to feel them kick, roll, and squirm around in my belly. The hospital took photos of the girls, their hands, and their feet. I am so thankful for that. We also got to see and kiss them one last time the day of the funeral. They were absolutely perfect and beautiful.

I miss them every day and will always carry them with me.

Ashley blogs at http://sullivan139.blogspot.com.

You can contact her at asullivan139@gmail.com.

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Comments

  1. Elyce says:

    I am so sorry to read about your loss. I lost twins due to an incompetent cervix, as well. Like you, we aren’t 100% certain that’s what happened, but that’s the doctors’ best guess. I wish you peace as you grieve your loss and hope you get your rainbow baby soon. I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone, and I will be keeping you and your sweet girls in my thoughts.

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