Mom to Fiona
Stillborn December 28, 2011 at 38 weeks
Fiona’s due date was January 13, 2012. Instead she grew her wings and was born into Heaven on Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2011.
On Christmas day, she moved into my birth canal, and her cord was too short to allow her to be born alive. She died that night. It wrapped tightly around her sweet, sweet neck.
It was the last time I felt her move, and I wish with everything in me that I could go back to that day. That day I lost my baby girl. And I had no idea, until 3 days later, when at our doctor visit we were sent to the hospital, and told she was not alive any longer. I don’t know what color her eyes were, or what her laugh would have sounded like, or how her little teeth would eventually grow in, but what touched my heart was the PEACE she oozed.
I will never be the same, and I miss her every day, probably MORE every day, and I wonder HOW to be a mom to a baby in Heaven. It makes no sense … I have never felt such love as I do for my girls, (my living daughter, Scarlet, was 15 months old when we lost her baby sister) and not an hour goes by that I don’t wonder why, and picture her in my mind’s eyes, with little blonde curls and pink sneakers and those giggles…
I look forward to the day when we will all be together. That gets me through this life.
We will hold them again, we just have to wait.
Thank you for reading about my girl, and thank you for inviting me to share her with you. Without communities like you, I’m not sure where we would be. Thank you…
Love, Fiona and Julie.
You can contact Julie at firstname.lastname@example.org.