Kendra

Mom to Roy

December 17, 2007 – May 19, 2008

Atlanta, Georgia

Well, where do I start? I guess I should start by telling you how we found out we were pregnant, which was kind of a funny story really. Well, it was the scariest day of my life to say the least. I had only been with my boyfriend for about 8 wks when we found out we were 6+5. The other scary thing was that my boyfriend was technically still married according to the Marines. But anyway, I had been going to work all week prior to us finding out, when my boss had suggested that I might be pregnant and I thought she was nuts, lol! So, I decided to say something to my boyfriend about it when we decided to buy a pregnancy test. I took one that night and it came out positive, so I decided to take another one the next morning. When that one came out positive, I decided that I should probably make a doctors appointment. That’s when we found out I was 6+5. We then had to tell my parents that I was pregnant. My dad was shocked, I think, and the rest of my family was surprised because I don’t think they ever thought I who’d get pregnant, let alone married.

Well, my pregnancy went on. It was pretty normal. I really didn’t have any morning sickness, which was nice, but I did end up gaining a lot of weight, which in the long run was not good because we ended up finding out after I had our son that I had diabetes. But any way, on November 9, 2007 my husband and I got married. It was a small thing, nothing fancy, which was perfect considering I was either 7 or 8 months pregnant. Then, on December 16th we were at my grandmother’s church Christmas dinner when my water broke. We then had to drive 30 minutes to our hospital to find that my doc was out of town for the weekend. Well, at about 7cm dilated we lost our son’s heartbeat, so I got rushed in to OR to have an emergency C-section. Come to find out that the cord got wrapped around his neck, body and legs, so he had the cord so stretched. Well, the first 7 days of his life were spent in the NICU at Tri- City hospital in Oceanside, California.

As the months went on, he continued to thrive and grow and be the perfect little boy he could be, he was a very happy and loving baby. He didn’t cry a lot or fuss, which we really didn’t think much of. On May 17th, his 5 month mark, we went over to his godparents’ house for his godfather’s homecoming. Everything was going great. He was playing with all the kids, he was enjoying being outside in the sun. Later that night I decided to put him down in their spare bedroom for the night and that’s when our world came crashing to the ground. About an hour after putting him down, I decided that I should check on him because he loved people and there were tons of kids in the house, so it wasn’t quiet by any means. I went in to the room that he was in and I just knew the minute I walked in there that my precious son was not there. He was face first in his blanket and wasn’t moving, so I checked to see if he was breathing and when I didn’t feel anything I slowly turned him over and that’s when my worst fear came true. I could just tell by the look on his face that my son was gone forever and I wasn’t getting him back. So, I picked him up and went running down the hall way screaming for my husband. My husband then took him from me laid him on the ground and started CPR while his Godmother was on the phone with 911. In a few minutes, even though to me it felt like forever, the police arrived, taking my son outside to continue CPR until the EMTs arrived. I was the only allowed to leave the house to go with my son to the hospital, as to where everyone else had to stay and be questioned. When we arrived at the hospital they continued CPR for over an hour, and when they decided that there was nothing more they could do for him, I went in and said goodbye and that I loved him. But, when I left the room, they got a heartbeat, so they decided to have him life-flighted down to Children’s Hospital in San Diego. Before the flight he was trying to breathing around the ventilator, but he gave up during the flight. Mind you, before all this, my husband finally arrived at the hospital just in time to go with me down the Children’s. Our next door neighbors, who met me at the hospital, were going to drive us down there since one, our car was at his God parents’ and two, we were in no shape to drive.

The next 72 hours were the longest days of my life. They did all sorts of tests, MRIs, CT scans, everything to see if there was a slight hope that we could save our son, but when the CT scan came back it was confirmed that we’d lost our son. So we decided to what was best for him and we took him off life support. So at 12:35am on May 19, 2008 our precious son left us to go play in the clouds. He was surrounded by his mommy and daddy and both grandpas while my husband read Fox in Socks to him.

I will forever miss my son and wish that I’d held him one last time before they took him away, even though to me I felt very rushed by the nurses I am sure I wasn’t. They gave us a memorial box and we put his hair in it and some other keepsake items we have from the hospital, and even though we have those things it still doesn’t change the fact that I left that hospital empty handed. They did do an autopsy to rule our foul play or genetic issues and they deemed it as SIDS, which is now why every year I do a fundraiser, Spring for SIDS, to help raise money and awareness so no other parent has to go through the pain and suffering that we went through.

Kendra blogs at http://myangelroy.blogspot.com.

You can contact her at krstapp86@gmail.com.

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