Heather

Mom to Twin B, and Hudson Edward (Twin A)

Lost Twin B at 9 weeks 5 days

Lost Hudson at 18weeks on 2/16/2012

Rockland, Massachusetts

My husband and I tried for a year on our own to get pregnant, did 2 years of IVF – we had one ectopic… the very next ivf round we got pregnant with our twins – it was amazing (we did 3 fresh IVFs and one frozen – only the fresh worked for me). One twin (twin B) was always measuring smaller.. and passed away at 9.5 weeks. I had four times that I hemorrhaged – but I never passed the deceased baby – he remained the entire pregnancy. The other baby did wonderful… he thrived… Well, at 10pm on Wednesday February 15th – I woke up – went to the bathroom – and my water broke. I was 18 weeks pregnant. We got to the hospital and our little boy was still alive – but the sac was ruptured… we either had to have a d & e or be induced and deliver our baby too soon – the night was doomed. We decided to wait a few hours in hopes that there were any chance in the fluid being replaced – in that time – my husband felt his son move in my womb for the very first time… about a half hour after that – I knew something was different. We looked at ultrasound and our little man had passed away. I then chose to be induced. The first doctor and nurse I had – sucked… they tried a morphine drip which was doing nothing for pain except causing me to vomit. The next doctor who came in… and nurse (they were all changing shifts) were wonderful. I had an epidural – and after 4 hours of being induced- I delivered my little boy in a matter of minutes. Hudson Edward was born 7 inches long and 8.5ounces. He was beautiful. He has his daddy’s long toes, his hands, and definitely his daddy’s nose. He had my lips…. and a certain expression on his face that my husband tells me I get when I am sleeping. I loved that little boy.

I know time is the only thing that will help heal me… but the question will always remain as to why my water broke. The placenta was sent for testing – and nothing was found … I also wonder if I will ever have a live baby… all these questions I guess no one could answer.

That’s my story… thank you for reading… I hope I can manage to mentally be better some day.

Heather can be reached at Eddieandheather@gmail.com

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Comments

  1. Alicia says:

    I was moved by your story. We did IVF last summer and got pregnant with our baby in August and then had a miscarriage in October…I can tell you that time does help, you’ll never be the same, but it does get easier. Reading this article brought me great comfort: http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=5195551

    Prayers for healing are coming your way
    Alicia

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