3 missed miscarriages:
March 2011 at 9 weeks
October 2011 at 12 weeks
February 2012 at 8 weeks
Iowa City, Iowa
In May 2010 my husband and I decided to ditch my birth control bills and start trying to conceive. After three months went by with no period, I wasn’t the least bit surprised because I had long cycles as a teenager and always knew something was wrong with me and that someday I’d likely have trouble conceiving. My ob/gyn ran some blood tests, and in October 2010 I was diagnosed with PCOS.
Baby #1: Wanting a second opinion on the infertility treatment my ob/gyn suggested (Clomid), I made an appointment after the first of the year with a RE (reproductive endocrinologist). His plan for infertility treatment was also Clomid, so we decided I would start that once I got my next period. But I never did because a week after the appointment we found out I was pregnant. I felt like this was a sign that this was our miracle baby – unexpectedly getting pregnant all on our own while waiting to start infertility treatments. I had my first OB appointment around 7 ½ weeks. I didn’t know what to expect and went to the appointment alone (this is something I’ll always regret because my husband never got to “meet” our little one). The ultrasound showed the baby was measuring right on track with a perfect little heartbeat. Two weeks later, I started having some light bleeding. We were out of town that weekend and had to wait until we got back that Sunday evening to go to the ER to get checked. The ultrasound showed the heartbeat was gone, and the baby was only measuring 7w6d. I was devastated. I feared we would never be able to get pregnant again.
Baby #2: After waiting one cycle (which for me turned into over 2 months), I decided to start Clomid treatment with my ob/gyn, as she was going to follow the same protocol that the RE would have, and it just seemed easier to stay with her. On our second Clomid cycle, we found out I was pregnant again. I was slightly cautious, but also very excited and relieved that we were able to get pregnant again. I thought the first time was just a fluke and this time things would work out. I took my husband with my to my first appointment this time, around 7 ½ weeks. And again, baby had a heartbeat and seemed to be measuring on track. We continued on for the next month, obliviously assuming that everything was going okay. We decided to have the first trimester screening done, and went in for our NT scan at 12 weeks. When the tech did the ultrasound, we found out our second little bean had stopped developing at 7 ½ weeks. I was crushed, and I knew this time my husband felt the pain as much as I did.
After this loss my doctor did a RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) blood panel to check for blood clotting and autoimmune disorders. Everything came back normal. I pushed her to put me on Metformin. I was never tested for insulin resistance, but had read studies where, regardless of whether or not you are insulin resistant, it had been shown to not only help women with PCOS to get pregnant, but also to reduce the rate of miscarriages. My doctor also said we would try progesterone suppositories the next time I got pregnant, in case it was a low progesterone issue causing this to happen.
Baby #3: My doctor said we could start trying again after one cycle. Just like last time, we got pregnant on our second Clomid cycle. When I saw that positive test, I immediately started crying because I was so scared of what the outcome of this pregnancy would be. I started the progesterone suppositories right away and prayed they would be the answers to our problems. I purposely scheduled my first appointment when I would be well into my 8th week, as the other times everything seemed to fall apart at the middle to end of the 7th week. I thought if we could make it through this first appointment at 8 ½ weeks, I would feel pretty confident. We got settled in the ultrasound room, and my doctor started the ultrasound….and was silent. I’ll never forget what she said when she finally spoke: “Well guys, it’s not looking good.” I immediately started crying, knowing this was over again, for the third time. #3 didn’t even make it past 6 ½ weeks. The Metformin and progesterone did absolutely nothing to help this pregnancy.
Where do we go from here? I’m still trying to figure that out. My ob/gyn thinks we’re doing everything right and should just keep trying, but I can’t accept that. We plan on going back to the RE we consulted with over a year ago, before this roller coaster ride began, and demand more extensive testing. I pray he is able to give us some answers as to why this keeps happening, and offer hope that it won’t happen again and that someday we will be able to have the family we always dreamed of.
Jenny blogs at http://ttcthelongwayaround.blogspot.com.
You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.