Mom to Angel Baby
Lost February 24, 2012 (EDD September 14, 2012)
Fort Carson, Colorado
My husband and I were so excited to try for our second baby. When I got pregnant on R&R, we were ecstatic. In five more months, we would be half way to meeting our new baby and done with our first deployment. I woke up the morning after I turned 11 weeks to find my underwear soaked with a bloody discharge. Worried, I called the doctor who made an appointment later that day to come in, saying not to worry and that it was probably just spotting.
I came in for my appointment and showed my doctor the discharge. Right away, she told me to go to the ER. My heart sank. I felt so alone. There was nothing I wanted more than my husband there to hold me. I had a terrible feeling, but tried to shake it and headed to the ER. My mom met me there. They drew blood and found that my hormone levels were still elevated and that gave me hope. My urine test came back positive as well. The bleeding slowed down and I was hoping it was just a heavy case of spotting. They ordered an ultrasound and that is when I found out my baby had no heartbeat. I was 11 weeks and something had gone wrong and caused the heart to stop beating and development to stop. They estimated my baby had died a week or two before.
I never felt so heartbroken in my life. My mom held me and we both cried. I couldn’t help but think about how I’d never hold my baby, see him or her smile or laugh, watch them grow…It was devastating. When the doctor came in with the grievance counselor, I felt my heart sink. It was too real. The hardest part was telling my husband in Afghanistan on the phone that we lost the baby. I felt the weight of both of our disappointment and grief just fall on me. I know with time, this will get easier, but my angel baby will never be forgotten 2/24/12.
You can contact Lacie at firstname.lastname@example.org.