Mom to two precious angels
Due August 2, 2012
Went to Heaven: December 19, 2011
San Antonio, Texas
I got home from Iraq at the end of Oct 2011 and my husband and I started trying to conceive right away. By Thanksgiving Day I was showing those wonderful pink lines!! My husband and I were so excited! We told family and close friends right away.
It took until about the 5thweek to start having symptoms: all day morning sickness, sensitive to smells, exhaustion. I could feel my body changing and it was thrilling. Our ultrasound was scheduled for December 19th, a day after our 2nd anniversary and a day before we left for Texas to visit family for Christmas. We went in at 9:00am.The nurse had to do the transvaginal ultrasound which was kind of uncomfortable, but it was worth it to see my baby! Once the nurse found the babies she said, “You have two babies in here!!” Jared and I were over the moon! Identical!!! The fact that my husband is a twin made it even more special. Then the nurse got very quiet. She looked around a little more and finished the u/s. Right before she got up and left the room she said, “I don’t see any heartbeats, but it’s still early.” I got up, got dressed and laughed and planned with my husband. Our nurse came back in with another nurse, who said that the babies didn’t have heartbeats and we needed to come back in a few hours and talk to the doctor. My heart sank. Our nurse looked like she was on the verge of tears. I flew out of the building, running past all of the healthy pregnant women in the waiting room and burst into tears in the car. I called close family, told them the news and asked them to pray. Maybe there was stillroom for a miracle?
Unfortunately, we didn’t get our miracle and the doctor told us that I would probably experience a miscarriage over the next few weeks. So I waited for three weeks, carrying my babies and waiting for the miscarriage. Nothing. I went back in for an ultrasound after Christmas to see what was going on and it confirmed a missed miscarriage. They were gone. My babies were gone and my body didn’t want to let them go. I ended up having to have a D&C done.
I miss them every day, the angels I never got to hold in my arms, but I’m so glad that I got to see them before I let them go.
You can contact Karis at firstname.lastname@example.org.