Mom to Zeke

November 18, 2001 – January 30, 2002

Sometimes life isn’t easy. I was nineteen when I found out my son had birth defects and might die.  Doctors and nurses urged us to end the pregnancy, but I couldn’t do that to my son.  
He lived for two and a half months.  He went through surgeries and new procedures.  We really thought he might make it, until a nurse put milk into his one good lung instead of his stomach. You see, he had CDH (congenital diaphragmatic hernia,) and only developed one full lung. Things got so bad, we knew he’d die.  It came down to one decision; he would suffer until he died, or we could take him off the vent.  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, but we made a choice I’ll always struggle with–we took him off the vent and he died in my arms.

I had a hard time after that. My husband got into drugs, coping with things even worse than I did.  I got two jobs and hoped things would get better as I tried supporting our one-year-old daughter. Anyway, I kept a journal the whole time and now it’s being published in Zeke’s memory on his birthday, 11/18.  This is the first time I’ve looked forward to his birthday.  It’s turned from something sad into a happy moment!  It’s amazing how sharing our stories can help so much.

I hope he’s smiling in Heaven.  But most of all, I hope our angel babies know that their lives weren’t in vain. Thanks for letting me share.  It’s nice to know that other people are out there who have gone through similar situations and still remained supportive and amazing. I’m so glad to have found this site.

Elisa blogs at: www.ecwrites.com

You can contact her at: ecboutique05@gmail.com


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  1. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter to CDH 3 months ago, she was 4.5 months old. I hope that things have gotten much better for you and your family!

  2. Elisa, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Zeke. I am happy to know that you have found ways to bring joy into your life again. I have said a prayer for you that God would continue to comfort you and that you would hold your son again in heaven one day.

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