Tara

Mom to Aidan Thomas Finney

September 4th, 2011

Cabot, Arkansas

Aidan was born on September 4, 2011. He was born at 21 weeks and 1 day. He was born sleeping. He was born with his angel wings. 

Our story started September 30, 2006. The day Evan and I met. We spent five years together. We lived together, went on trips, got engaged, and got married. We watched as our loved ones became parents. And then on May 26th in the most unexpected of ways we learned it was our turn. Our family was literally growing. Once the shock wore off the excitement grew. And then it really grew when we learned our little one would be Aidan Thomas. He would be brave and make us proud. He would be the most perfect little boy. Because he was ours. 

At 5:38 p.m. on September 4, 2011 our world shifted.  When I went to the ER I was spotting and suffering from back pain. At first they thought I had an infection but, after a pelvic exam it was discovered that I was already dilated to a six. No one would fly me to UAMS for the emergency cerclage. I was inverted and we waited. After over twelve hours of trying to get me stable enough to fly to UAMS my water broke at 5 p.m. At 5:38 Aidan was born. He was breech and it was a very difficult delivery. Once he was here we spent all night and next morning loving on our son. Our angel. We had to drive four hours back home and were blessed enough to be able to take Aidan with us. He rode in a basket. I kept picturing Moses in his basket. The next week was spent planning and burying my first born. 

And then we had to give him back much to soon. We don’t know why or for what reason yet but, God needed our Angel with him. And so our family has grown. We are now three, but we miss him. He is not lost. We know where he is. Our tears are for all of the hopes and dreams we will never get to live out here. Our tears are because we have been thrown into a new normal. Our tears are because we made the ultimate sacrifice. We live each day without our child in our arms.

We cannot be protected from the pain. No one can stop it. We must endure and just get through it. You cannot make it worse. The worst thing in the world already happened. All we can ask if for your love, prayers and faith. Faith in us, faith in God and faith that one day we will see Aidan again. 

As Aidan’s mom I made a decision when I realized we would be parted. I made the decision that he will never be forgotten. He will never be the tragedy that struck our family. He will forever be our little boy. Our first born. His legacy will leave its own mark. His footprints no matter how tiny are perfect and they will leave their lasting mark. On our hearts, on the hearts of so many, on the world. Because on Aidan’s wings…hope flies.

Tara blogs at www.onaidanswings.blogspot.com

You can contact her at taradedmon@hotmail.com

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Comments

  1. Alicia Karrick says:

    “And so our family has grown. We are now three, but we miss him. He is not lost. We know where he is. Our tears are for all of the hopes and dreams we will never get to live out here. Our tears are because we have been thrown into a new normal. Our tears are because we made the ultimate sacrifice. We live each day without our child in our arms.” These words brought tears to my eyes. I had a miscarriage at 9 wks on October 4th. Those are the words I feel so many people don’t get when they hear about miscarriage and stillbirth…we’re parents, just parents of angels. Thank you for sharing your story.
    May God continue to show you His blessings

    • Tara Finney says:

      Thank you. I have found so much support by sharing Aidan’s story. If I didn’t have the courage to share, I would have never met so many wonderful people. I hate that we are all connected in the ways that we are. But, so thankful that if we have to be, at least we are speaking up and supporting one another. Until you experience a loss like ours you just never get it. I am thinking of you and your little one.

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