Kara

Missed Miscarriage

Diagnosed May 3rd, 2011

Miscarried May 5th, 2011

Mandan, North Dakota

My husband and I started trying to conceive our first child shortly after we got married.  I had been on the pill for nearly 14 years and had never tried to get pregnant, so I didn’t know what to expect.  To our surprise and delight, I got pregnant during my second cycle!  Like any first-time mom, I was excited and anxious at the same time.  We shared the good news with our close friends and family, but planned to wait until we heard a heartbeat to tell the rest of the world.

When the day of my first prenatal appointment arrived (at 12 weeks), I was incredibly nervous.  I had no reason to be—I certainly felt pregnant (nauseated, bloated, tired, food aversions, very little appetite), and I had no cramping or bleeding.  The doctor confirmed that my uterus felt about 12 weeks in size and that there was no sign of bleeding.  When the time came to listen for the heartbeat, my husband and I waited calmly as the doctor searched and searched with the Doppler.  She kept assuring us that it was common not to hear anything at such as early stage, but she must have been a little worried, because she sent me for an ultrasound that same day.  The technician who did the ultrasound was silent as she captured the images of my uterus, and she kept the monitored angled away from us the whole time.  At that point, I was certain that something was wrong, but I didn’t ask, lest my fears be confirmed.  On the way home, I kept saying, I’m sure everything is okay, but I didn’t believe it. 

A few hours later, my doctor called with the bad news:  There was a gestational sac measuring 6 weeks, but no baby.  She expressed her condolences, and explained my options, but I didn’t hear any of it.  Since my mom and sisters knew about the appointment, I had to call and tell them what happened.  I could barely get the words out. 

The next morning, I called my doctor, who referred me to a gynecologist at the women’s health clinic.  He sat down with my husband and me to discuss my options at length.  He assured us that the miscarriage was mostly likely the result of a chromosomal abnormality, and that nothing we did or didn’t do caused it.  In the end, I decided to take medication to induce the miscarriage, since my body showed no signs of recognizing the loss.  The following day, I took the medication, and after the second dose, I began to miscarry.  I experienced very little pain during the process, but it was the most traumatizing experience I’ve ever had.  Fortunately, it only last a few hours.

I bled on and off for the next 82 days.  Sometimes the bleeding was heavy like it was during the miscarriage, but it was all normal according to my gynecologist.  He advised us to be patient and to wait at least three months before trying again.  I wasn’t sure I could wait that long, but as it turned out, that’s how long it took for my body to heal and for my cycle to return to normal.

While the fear of another miscarriage is strong, it’s not enough to prevent us from trying again.  Every day I remind myself that every pregnancy is different and that the chances of my next pregnancy being successful are much higher than the chances of another miscarriage.

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Comments

  1. I went through a similar situation 6 1/2 years ago. Even though I always feared it would happen again I have had 3 babies since then and they are all ok. Things do get better but I will always remember the one I never got to meet <3

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