Tam

Mom to Esther Grace Slagle

Stillborn June 18th, 2007

San Diego, California

October 2006 my husband and I found out we were expecting our 3rd child, we had one girl and one boy, we were thrilled to be adding to our family.  At 8 weeks I started cramping we headed to the ER and then bleeding as we entered into the hospital, my husband was so flustered that he told the nurse I was 8 months pregnant and bleeding.

She started making calls and rushing around and then I said “no I am 8 weeks”  then she calmed down, and we were told by the ER doctor she was sorry that we lost the baby and miscarried. I was sent in for an ultrasound 2 hours later, the ultrasound tech said “look right there, there’s the baby and there’s the heart beating” ! Wow in a matter of 2 words our world went from crashing down to lifted up “HEART BEATING”.  

At 18 weeks we found out we were having another princess and our little girl was so happy that her “wish came true” . My husband was a youth pastor and we included youth kids in games such as “name the baby” and they were all involved in our pregnancy.

At 20 weeks I was put on bed-rest due to a shortening cervix, many of the youth kids baby sat our 2 older kids and even helped clean the house and wash the laundry.  I was taken off of bed-rest after a few weeks and all was great with Esther and my pregnancy. Esther got her first name after her (still living) Great Great Grandmother, and her middle name Grace from the Matthew West song “Only Grace.”  After I was off of bed-rest and heard this song it felt so fitting. While I was pregnant I started a new little business “undercover udder” nursing covers.

I loved every moment of my pregnancy and everything about being a Mommy, we were prepared to go from a family of 4 to a family of 5.  On June 15th 2007 a Friday I was 35 weeks and 6 days pregnant, I went to my ob appointment listened to my sweet darlings heart beating away, the doctor said , “we are out of the woods now, anytime this baby wants to come it will be okay”.

The very next day was my baby shower, as I looked over at my very dear, and just as pregnant as me, friend,  I grabbed my belly and wondered why my baby was so still.  The baby shower ended it was the most beautiful celebration for my daughter’s, for Esther’s arrival, and my older daughter as she opened each gift and swooned over having a little sister to enjoy.

I worried as I drove home for I still felt no movement, I drank juice, and laid on my left side, and then took a bath, she always loved when I took a bath, she would dance in my belly, but this time, nothing. I poked to wake her from her deep slumber still nothing. I told my husband my worries and we agreed that if in the morning I still had felt nothing then we would go into L&D, I woke up early about 5 am and still nothing, the I started searching “stillborn” on google.

Sunday morning, Father’s Day, we were told via ultrasound “I am sorry there is no Heart Beat”. On this day we should have been at church celebrating Fathers, our Heavenly Father, but instead we were told our child died.  Our beautiful perfect Esther Grace was born into my arms and to forever be in my heart on Monday June 18th 2007.  We have no known cause of death. We do know that she lived her life 100% through and all she ever knew was love.  

Tam blogs at  http://lovingesthergrace.blogspot.com/ 

She can be contacted at Tam@TamsTreats.com

 

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