Mother to angel Donna Rose
October 28th, 2010
Mission, South Dakota
My pregnancy was very uneventful, for the most part.
We were living in Greeley, CO. Even before I knew I was pregnant, I had nausea every day. My husband (then my fiance), Ben, was delighted the day I walked out of the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test.
We nicknamed our baby “Cubby” because she was our little bear cub, though we didn’t know if she was a girl or a boy yet. And, ohhhh, was I ever sick. I looked at it as a good sign, indicating that my baby was healthy. All my doctor’s appointments said that she was growing as she should, I was gaining weight appropriately, everything was fine.
The second trimester came, the nausea went. We had our ultrasound appointment and were told that she was a girl and everything looked good. Then a week later I started feeling pain in my abdomen. It didn’t quite feel like stretching, but I wasn’t too worried until I started spotting(October 27th).
Ben and I were preparing to head to church for our Wednesday evening service, but our plans changed quickly and we went into the ER. They rushed me up to a room. They pulled out ultrasound equipment To see what was wrong. My cervix had dilated and her feet in the amniotic fluid sac were sticking out. The hospital thought the sac had broken. They gave me three options: 1) They could stick me in a room and wait to see what would happen. 2) They could fly me to Denver. 3) They could “terminate” my pregnancy.
There was no way on earth that Ben or I would ever choose that 3rd option. Our best bet seemed to be flying down to Denver. One of the doctors prayed with us before we flew out. I will never forget that. They airlifted me down to University Hospital. The doctors there hooked up their ultrasound equipment. They examined me thoroughly and told me that my amniotic fluid sac had not broken. They said that I had three options: 1) They could stick me in a room and wait and see what happened (less than 30% chance that Donna Rose would have survived) 2) They could attempt a procedure to push the sac with Donna Rose’s feet back inside and sew my cervix shut (about a 50% chance that she would survive) 3) They could “terminate”. They told me there were risks with any of these procedures.
I chose option 2 since that seemed to give Donna Rose the best chance mathematically. They told me that before they did this procedure, they needed to check my amniotic fluid for infection, this could potentially cause labor and if I went into labor they wouldn’t stop it.
Sure enough, the procedure to extract amniotic fluid started labor at midnight on October 28th. After 12 painful hours, our angel was born. She was kicking right up to the moment of her birth. The doctors and nurses felt for a heartbeat and told us there was none, so she was labeled “Stillborn.”
They kept me for observation for a couple days and then sent me home. They autopsied my placenta and said it was infected. They don’t know if an infection caused my cervix to dilate or if my cervix dilating caused me to get an infection. At any rate, any future pregnancies will be high risk.
Ben and I feel that there must have been a reason that God didn’t allow us to keep our daughter. Our opinion is that he knew of something in her future that would have been more painful for us than her death. It’s that thought that keeps us going day to day.
Grace blogs at http://donnarosesgarden.
You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org