Mom to Enzo Leandre
July 28th, 2011 – July 29th, 2011
On a day when most like to play practical jokes, I found out I had nothing to joke about but, rather, jump of joy. On April 1st 2011, I found out I was pregnant with my first child. My husband, Leandre and I were filled with complete and utter joy! We had wanted to start a family for months. We went through the three months of morning (or should I say, everyday) sickness. The weight gain. The doctor visits. The careful diet. All of those wonderful and amazing things, that most of us take for granted, but that I never will again.
On one very special doctor visit, we were going to find out the gender of our beloved baby. On July 19, 2011 we happily arrived to Dr. Green’s office to see and witness our little miracle. We went in, we saw, we heard, so we were happy. Who would have thought that even after hearing our baby’s heartbeat, there can still be something wrong? Right after the ultrasound, we had a doctor’s appointment where his words froze us all: “If I’m worried, then you should be worried.” With that, we were sent to a specialist for further examinations. We went to two different specialists, with two different machinery, in two different hospitals but with the exact same diagnosis; my baby had Potter’s Syndrome.
Potter’s Syndrome is when the baby is lacking kidneys. Lacking or his kidneys are malformed. In our case, his kidneys were malformed. He had one extremely small, non functioning kidney and another extremely large, full of cysts, and also not functioning. Along with that, our baby didn’t have a bladder (no kidneys and no bladder usually go hand in hand). Not having functioning kidneys or a bladder, our baby didn’t produce urine. By not producing urine, he could not make amniotic fluid to live in. Not having amniotic fluid prevents him from forming other major organs, such as his lungs. By not having lungs, he is not able to live outside of my womb. I quickly learned that Potter’s Syndrome is not compatible with life.
We were given two options: 1) induce labor or 2) have a full term pregnancy. Either one, our baby was still given only hours of life. They even prepared us for delivering a dead baby as there was the possibility that he could die inside of me. Nine days later, on July 28, 2011, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Enzo Leandre. He was born at 11:18pm, weighed 430 grams (not even a pound) and measured 10.5 inches.
Enzo was with us for 4 hours and 25 minutes. In those 4 hours and 25 minutes, we bathed him, clothed him, held him, kissed him, photographed him, loved him… and he loved us. He gave us his all. His entire life, his unconditional love, his will power (he had such a strong will to live), his strength, his courage, his bravery, and much, much more. He passed away on July 29, 2011 at 3:43am leaving behind nothing but beautiful, amazing memories and all of the life lessons he taught us.
The 4 hours and 25 minutes he gifted us were truly the best moments of my life. I will cherish and treasure every second of his entire lifetime forever and for always. The pain, heartbreak, and devastation we feel is honestly immeasurable. As is our happiness to have become first time parents to our baby angel, Enzo. He is sincerely remarkable in every possible way.
My sweet, perfect, beautiful Enzo. No matter how heavy, I will never put him down… I will hold him high for the warmth of the sun and for all to see. He is mighty and flawless and his presence is way too big to ever be forgotten. In our hearts, souls, and lives forever Enzo lives. Fly high my beautiful little darling, we shall meet again. Until then, you will forever live through us. We miss you with all of our hearts. We love you more than words could ever begin to express. Your memory, scent, and body are engraved in my soul always. We love you son, nous t’aime bebe, te amamos pupo.
Enzo Leandre, you are our sunshine, our guiding light, our pumping blood, our world, our everything, the reason for which we live, our angel… but best of all, you are our son. We love you with all of our hearts, forever and always.
Papa & Mama
Milena maintains a website in Enzo’s memory at www.enzoleandre.weebly.com
You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org