Jessica

Mother to Hayden Wyatt Mitchell

June 3rd – June 3rd, 2011

Rolla, MO

My name is Jessica. I am 23 years old. My husband and I have been married for 3 years now, and have one son together. My story starts back in 2010, when we decided it was time to make our family bigger! We actually got pregnant really fast! So shortly after we found out, we made an appointment to go to the doctor. Well, we went to this place that gives a free pregnancy test, and ultrasound. Of course, I couldn’t pass this up! I wanted to see my baby, well, at least the start of him/her! I was too early to see anything that day, just the yolk sac. Well, they wanted to schedule me back another day to see the baby. The next visit, we could see our little bean! We saw the little flutters of the heart and everything! He was perfect! Well, my actual doctor appointment came around, I was now 13 weeks and my husband and I were ecstatic!

Well, it was time for my ultrasound, and I just couldn’t wait to see my baby! Everything seemed to be going good at first, but then I noticed that the doctor started paying a lot of attention to the baby’s bladder. She said the baby may have to pee, but the bladder is measuring a little bit bigger than it should. She then went and got another doctor to take a look. He then told us it could be one of many things… It could be, the baby just needs to pee. It can be a female, and have a cyst in the ovaries. Or, the bladder may not be draining like it should. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing! He then scheduled me to come back in a couple of days to see if it goes back to normal or not. These few days was the longest days of my life.

Finally it was time to go back. I was scared to watch the screen when he put the monitor on my stomach, but I couldn’t force myself to not look…. My heart stopped when I saw that the bladder was still big, actually, even bigger than it was. The doctor then told me it’s either a girl, like he was saying, or there is a blockage somewhere. And then the worse of all, downsyndrom. He said that, because the fluid on the back of the baby’s neck was measuring a bit bigger than it should have been. I thought to myself, “How can this be? We were both so ready to have a baby… A healthy baby”. He then said he could give me an amnio to find out if the baby has downs or not, and then he could drain the bladder. Something just didn’t sound right about that, but I said “Ok”. Anything to help my baby. Later that night, my husband and I had a talk, and we thought It would be a good idea if we got a second opinion. That’s what any concerned parent would do, right? We then made an appointment to go to one of the best hospitals around. They did and ultrasound, and sure enough, the bladder was still big. They told us that there was just a partial blockage somewhere. It was only partial because my fluid levels were normal. They did the measurement on the back of the neck as well, and mentioned downs. We agreed it would be best if I did get the amnio. We got the results back, and they were NORMAL! “What is going on?” We thought. That was wonderful news, though. (By the way, that’s when we found out we were having a little boy).

Out next visit was horrible. His bladder was so much bigger followed by a new problem. The ventricles in his brain had extra fluid in them. My poor baby just could not seem to catch a break. We then had to go to the doctor every week to monitor how he was doing. It just seemed like every visit there was something new. On top of the bladder and the brain, half of his heart was starting to shut down. I could not understand why this was happening to my baby! We got his bladder drain that day as well, because his bladder was getting so big, it was pressing up on his lungs. This was the time where the lungs really developed. We continued going back to the doctor every week to 2 weeks now. And still, more problems started happening. We then noticed he had a clubbed foot and the ventricles were still enlarged. The bladder was still enlarged, but never got back to what it was before we got it drained. We then got some terrible news. “There is a good chance baby will not make it to term. But if he does, he will not make it long after birth.” How can this be happening???? We then got another echo done of his heart, and sadly found out, half of his heart shut down… Also, fluid was in the abdominal area, (from heart failure) And my fluid levels were extremely high. Of course, with all of this wrong, I was not giving up on my son. We got told some pretty harsh words about how we need to spend as much time with him when he is born, and take pictures. Still, the back of my head, I was not giving up. We got scheduled for a C-section 2 weeks from my last doctor visit. I was thinking, “Aright! I’m full term right now, and baby is still kicking strong! He’s going to prove them doctors wrong!” But about a week before my scheduled C-section, my water broke June 3rd at 4:30 a.m. I was nervous/scared, but excited at the same time. I was finally going to get to meet him!

When we got there, (this was a 2 hour drive by the way!) I was dilated to a 6. They brought me into the operation room, and then got started. I have never been so scared in my life! Things were happening so fast! My husband was then brought into the room. A few seconds later, we heard a little whimper. Not a cry, but this tiny little whimper… My husband immediately went over to him and saw all the doctors working on him. He thought he was doing good, because he was taking in his oxygen and keeping his heart rate up! The doctor then came over and told us the worse news ever… “I’m sorry, we have done everything we could… But he’s just not taking in all his oxygen” They then brought this sweet baby over to us that we have been waiting so long to meet… Looking at him, I just saw our future slipping away. They assured us that he was feeling no pain, because they were giving him pain medicine. He was to weak to even open his eyes. His head was extremely enlarged, because of all the fluid. As any mother, I wished I could have taken it all away. He was an angel…. In the recovery room, everyone got their chance to hold him. We even had a lady come in and baptize him. After everything was settled, a nurse came over to get him, so he could be changed into some clothes. Things were kind of quiet when we got the news that they couldn’t find his heartbeat…. My little angel went to God. He was a fighter though. He lived for an hour and 22 minutes. RIP sweet baby of mine. We love and miss you!

 

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments

  1. Dani Shamp says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son, but I am glad that you had a chance to hold him and love him before he slipped away. Not that it makes it any easier. You’re a strong woman, and I will pray for you.

  2. Alyssa says:

    I lost my son on June 3rd also, my son was stillborn at 38 weeks 6 days due to a cord accident. I am so so sorry you have to go through this. No one should ever have to experience the pain of losing a child.

Show Your Support

*

Blog Archive

Graphic Design by


© 2011 Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope | PO Box 26131 | Minneapolis, MN 55426 | Contact Us