September 2005

Etna, Maine

My name is Donna, I live in Etna, Maine.  I miscarried with my first child at 10 1/2 weeks in September 2005.  I first discovered Faces of Loss through the Facebook page of a friend of a friend, who had lost her baby to SIDS.


I wish I had known that support like this was out there when I went through my miscarriage.  I of course had my husband (the fiancé) and my friends and family, but no one really seemed to want to talk about it.  I all ever got were hugs and compassionate looks and ” It’ll be ok, you can try again.”  And while I know they meant well I was mad that no one was addressing the fact that someone had just died.  Even if my baby wasn’t viable and only the size of a grape, it was still my baby.  My biggest problem was that the doctors had told me there was nothing I could have done, and I don’t know if this makes sense or not but I felt almost as if I had failed because there was nothing I could do.  I felt like at the very least I should’ve been able to keep my baby safe and I couldn’t even do that.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of my baby.  I kept the first ultrasound pictures from 6 weeks and have them framed in my bedroom, I also wear a little silver “bean” necklace in remembrance.  This is how I remember and cope.  I like to take the “I’ll never forget” approach and I’ll talk about my experience to anyone who will listen because this is a subject that shouldn’t be considered taboo.


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