| Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Donna

Miscarriage

September 2005

Etna, Maine

My name is Donna, I live in Etna, Maine. I miscarried with my first child at 10 1/2 weeks in September 2005. I first discovered Faces of Loss through the Facebook page of a friend of a friend, who had lost her baby to SIDS.

I wish I had known that support like this was out there when I went through my miscarriage. I of course had my husband (the fiancé) and my friends and family, but no one really seemed to want to talk about it. I all ever got were hugs and compassionate looks and ” It’ll be ok, you can try again.” And while I know they meant well I was mad that no one was addressing the fact that someone had just died. Even if my baby wasn’t viable and only the size of a grape, it was still my baby. My biggest problem was that the doctors had told me there was nothing I could have done, and I don’t know if this makes sense or not but I felt almost as if I had failed because there was nothing I could do. I felt like at the very least I should’ve been able to keep my baby safe and I couldn’t even do that.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of my baby. I kept the first ultrasound pictures from 6 weeks and have them framed in my bedroom, I also wear a little silver “bean” necklace in remembrance. This is how I remember and cope. I like to take the “I’ll never forget” approach and I’ll talk about my experience to anyone who will listen because this is a subject that shouldn’t be considered taboo.

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