Jessica Espinoza

Mother to Faith De La Torre

May 30, 2010

 

My name is Jessica Espinoza I have three kids, Ariana (7), Jacob (4), and Faith my little angel. I got pregnant with Faith September of 2009. I was just so excited for her to be here with us. I would go to all my appointments and do all the tests. I got all of her stuff ready and washed all of her clothes. I was just counting down the days until she was here in my arms. Then on May 24, I went to the doctor and heard her heartbeat and got measured and the doc told me that I was going to get induced on May 2nd.

So me and Jorge were so happy we were going to get to have our little girl in our arms soon. Then on that Friday I was getting really bad contractions but I kept telling myself that I wanted to wait until my water broke since I didn’t with Ariana and Jacob. So I went to my moms to have dinner and Faith kept moving and got hiccups when I would eat. My mom kept the kids and Jorge picked me up and we came home. I told him we will probably  go to the hospital in the middle of the night or in the morning. Then I kept waking up… and I kept going to the bathroom and throwing up, I got in the shower cause I was feeling sick.  So I woke Jorge up and we went to the hospital and then we had to register and the nurse took me up to the 6th floor, the nurse gave me some clothes and told me to change. I got on the bed and she put the monitor on my stomach and could not find her heartbeat, my heart dropped when I couldn’t hear it.

She said let me get another nurse and the doctor so then the other nurse couldn’t find it either then the doctor did a ultrasound and I could see her not moving and no heartbeat I just started crying so hard I could not believe that she was gone. Jorge started hugging me and crying…..Right there I felt like a piece of me died with her. I was just in shock I wanted to wake up from this nightmare. I could not get myself to call anyone to tell them the news. My mom kept on calling me to see if they kept me so Jorge answered and I got on the phone and told her she was gone I could not stop crying. She started screaming and my kids heard her and my daughter started crying saying my sister is gone. That was so hard to hear my kids in pain.

My family got there within 10 min. I was in labor for 14 hours and Faith was born on May 30th 2010 at 2:12am, 7lbs, 20 1/2in. She had dark brown curly hair. She looked just like me, she just looked like she was sleeping. I had her with me for 8 hours. I did not want to let her go, I kept on kissing her, touching her face playing with her hair and telling her I love her and I’m sorry for not protecting her. The nurse came and got her and I felt like my heart was being stomped on as she was leaving the room. We had her funeral on June 3rd. I was just so numb that day I wanted to pick her up and take her home with me. I wanted her to wake up and cry. It has been a year since I had her but it still feels like yesterday.

 

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Comments

  1. Rickeisha Jones says:

    Sorry for your lost my heart goes out to you, Faith will always be with you in spirit and she’ll be in your arms again one day.

  2. Diana says:

    Sorry for your loss Jessica, I pray God will give you the strength to get thru this difficult time. God bless you!

  3. Regina Ramlall says:

    I AM SO SORRY! This is so so sad and i know how you feel, to wnat somethign so bad and something like this happens….. my thoughts are with you and may god give you strength and comfort during your difficult moments. its been six months since i lost my son (23 weeks) and i could hardly stand it when they took him away. i know our angels will always be with us and we will see them again one day. that is what keeps me going. Take care!

  4. Jessica says:

    I mean June 2nd not May 2nd…. It is going to be 2 years May 30th and I’m feeling this pain real heavy in my heart I should have a 2 yr old right now and instead I have a guardian angel named Faith<3 I really miss you Faith to the moon and back <3

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