Denise

Miscarriage – 2010

 

My husband and I have two beautiful girls and were not really planning to have any more children.  However when I found out that I was pregnant for the third time I was excited as well as very nervous.  With my other two since we were planning to have them I was watching my diet, and taking better care of myself.  As soon as I figured out I started to make sure I was eating right and taking my vitamins like I should. 

I was at about 9-10 weeks when I started to have some bleeding.  At first I did not think too much of this since I had some spotting with both my girls.  After having bleeding over the weekend I was a little worried, but knew I had an appointment on Monday so I didn’t do anything at that time.  At this time I still had all of the morning sickness and everything else that goes along with being pregnant so I did not think too much of it.

When I went to the Dr. and told him about the bleeding he was a little concerned, but didn’t say too much at that time.  However I was starting to figure out that something was not right.  Then when they wanted to do an ultra sound at 10 weeks I knew there was definitely something that was not right.  When the Dr. said there was not viable fetus I did not know what to think.  I was somewhat shocked yet not totally surprised by this.

In the weeks to come, I struggled both emotionally and physically with this.  Even though I knew the baby was gone I still felt pregnant for a few weeks after this.  We had only told a few people that I was pregnant so not many knew what was happening .  At first I did not want to tell anyone because I was having such a hard time with this.  Then as we told a few people and I started to feel better it became a little easier.  I also found out that I was not alone in this, that many people have gone through this.

Through the kind words and my faith I have been able to get through this.  There are still times that make it harder then others.  For example Thursday (5-5-11} would have been the babies due date.  Then today, Mother’s Day, has brought back a flood of emotions and the “what if” question.  I know that I am one of the lucky ones because I went through this after having two beautiful girls already.  I am not sure if I could have handled this at a different point in my life.

 

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Comments

  1. Heather says:

    I know what you mean about how things would be different if you didn’t already have two beautiful children. My heart aches for those who have only experienced the loss. Many prayers.

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