Mom to Baby Boy
November 16th, 2010
My name is Rebecca Lee Carslon, and I am a mother of an Angel.
I found out I was pregnant in August 2010. My husband and I were really excited right away. I had my first appointment at 6 weeks, I felt great I was eating well. Come 8 weeks pregnant I started getting morning sickness, and at 8 weeks and 1 day along, we got our first ultrasound, the baby was moving a lot, couldn’t keep still for the life of him, it looked so amazing and beautiful, with the heart beats per minute being in the 170s.
The doctor told us that the baby was probably going to be a girl, because the higher heart rates a lot of the time, most of the time end up being a girl, so we got excited, but we still knew it could be a boy. Either way we were happy.
I started getting sicker and sicker, at the point to where I couldn’t keep any food or any fluids down. I was in hospital for my birthday in October for dehydration and I was also in there the next day overnight because my potassium was really low. I was diagnosed with hyperemisis, vomiting in pregnancy. Two percent of women in the United States get it. It is terrible.
I was 11 weeks when I had my next ultrasound. I was impressed by how much the baby had grown and how much he was still moving although at that point I still couldn’t feel it other than gas bubble like feelings. The baby’s heart rate was then in the 150s.
At that point I thought we are having a boy, because they have the lower rates like that. My husband and I got a picture from the 8 week and the 11 week ultrasound, then my next appointment at the doctor was at 14 weeks and 5 days into the pregnancy.
I had a cough and we couldn’t figure out why no meds were working for me for the cough, and the doctor looked and told us, I had a goober so they call them hanging from my thyroid gland or something like that, and your thyroid glands swell in pregnancy, and you also produce more saliva as well.
He then tried to find the baby’s heart beat, but couldn’t and a week earlier my primary ob couldn’t find it. Well this doctor I had to see because my doctor was busy with other patients, so I saw this other guy doctor and he had to order me an emergency ultrasound, to find my baby died. He said the way it looks on ultrasound, the size of our baby was of a 13 week baby. So sometime during my 13th week I lost my SON. They told me I could let nature take its course or they could induce me, so I and my husband decided to be induced. It was the toughest decision I had to make.
I didn’t want to lose our baby in the toilet, I didn’t want to be sick any longer at that point, although if my son was alive still I would’ve went for the long haul to have my baby.
November 16, 2010 my son was born at 8:55 PM. I was in labor for 12 to 14 hours, I barely had to push and he came out. That is when we saw he was a boy. He weighed in at 1.1 oz and 5 inches long. He looked like a miniature newborn. He had my husband’s shoulders– that was a no brainer. We held him in the palms of our hands, my husband, me, my mom, my sister, my husband’s mom and step dad, my brother and sister in law and we all kissed him good bye. I had to have a d and c an hour after he was stillborn for a retained placenta. We got to keep him in my room with us all night, so I had my time with him to tell him we loved him and will miss him, and in such a short time he became our world.
We entered the world of parenthood learning what it feels like to lose your child and then in March I had an ectopic pregnancy and they had to take one of my tubes. I still can have a baby, my fertility hasn’t changed. We will miss our son, each and every day, I am still trying to cope. Mother’s Day is this weekend and I am devastated I would’ve been due with my son Mother’s Day, May 8th!
We did get him blessed/baptised before we left the hospital that next day. We had him tested and he had an autopsy done, everything came back normal and negative. We had a healthy baby boy, there was no cause of his death; we all call it a freak of nature.
I am proud to be a mother of an angel and I know that he is with me still everywhere I go. A mother’s love, there is nothing in the world like it. I know one day soon, we will have a healthy baby.