Lost to Early Miscarriage
Toronto, Canada

Do you remember high school health class? I remember a cheerless woman issuing dire warnings about the dangers of unprotected sex, the scariest one of which was getting pregnant. We all knew that if you had unprotected sex once, you’d get pregnant and then nine months later you’d have a baby. [Read more…]


Mom to Ryan James
September 17th, 2010
Fort Worth, Texas

March 25, 2010, there were two pink lines and then on another test the word “pregnant”. After taking 3 different tests, I allowed myself to be excited! My husband and I had struggled to get pregnant with our oldest child, so I was shocked to be pregnant within 3 months. The plan was for this pregnancy to complete our family of four.  [Read more…]


Mom to Noah Robert Wilkerson
June 26th, 2009 – June 30th, 2009
Colorado Springs, Colorado

The story of our family began on my 30th birthday. It was about that time, that after six years of marriage, my husband Chris and I finally began to feel baby fever. We threw a huge birthday party to celebrate this new decade of life for me with all our family and friends. Meanwhile, we secretly celebrated an end to life being only about just the two of us, and the beginning of an exciting new chapter of parenthood. What felt like two seconds later, I was pregnant. [Read more…]

Mom to Hope 
March 19th, 2008
Vorhees, New Jersey
I am telling my story cause it gives me peace.   

[Read more…]


Mom to Mina Kathryn
February 18th, 2009 – February 24th, 2009
Tacoma, Washington

The story of our baby girl, Mina, everything that happened leading up to her birth and then, her passing. Just a warning though, that I do talk about girl parts for obvious reasons, so if that’s too much information for you stop reading here. : ) [Read more…]

Miscarriage at 6 weeks on November 24th, 2009
Miscarriage at 9 weeks on February 12th, 2010
Miscarriage at 9 weeks on June 23rd, 2010
San Angelo, Texas


Mom to Evan Tyler
September 12th, 2010
Sarnia, Ontario, Canada

I was almost 36 weeks pregnant and had started my maternity leave a bit early to get the house ready for baby #2.  I had noticed a bit of lightening and a decrease in movement for a couple of days, but that’s normal in the final months of pregnancy because the baby has less space to move, and I still felt the baby rolling and turning and at times it felt like he was stretching out in there so I just brushed it off as being normal. The Friday before he was born I went to Toys R Us to buy him an infant rocker and I remember while I was sitting on the floor at home putting it together that it seemed a bit easier to move around, I just figured it was the lightening you hear about as the baby begins to drop…
[Read more…]


Mom to Liam Maximilian
January 3rd, 2011
Anchorage, Alaska

My husband and I had been trying for 2 years and finally after our second IUI we were pregnant. We were so excited that finally the stress of fighting infertility was gone. I am a worrier though so when asked about getting the prescreen done, to check for birth defects, I had to do it. This resulted in more worrying then since the results showed us that our baby had a 1 in 30 chance of having a neural tube defect. I tried to stay optimistic, that there was still a chance my baby was perfectly healthy. 
At our 20 week ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby it was discovered that not only was I having a little boy but also that he had hydrocephalus caused from Spina Bifida and we needed to go see a Perinatologist to find out the exact location and extent of his back lesion. After seeing the Perinatologist we learned that my poor Liam had a very bad case of Myelomeningocele and showing all of the classic signs. We also learned that day that there at been a research study going on called the “MOMS study” that was comparing 200 babies, half of which will receive fetal surgery to correct the spina bifida before more damage is done and after the baby is born which is the way it is commonly done. Doctors had brought up abortion to us, but that was not an option, I was already way to in love with my little Liam. This MOMS study sounded like an incredible option though, to have a chance at giving our little boy a chance at a better life.  The day we called about the study we found out it had just ended the week prior due to efficacy but they were going to allow 10 moms to electively get the fetal surgery if they passed all of the tests needed to do it. This news actually made us even happier because we knew now that the fetal surgery had proven to be helping these babies and since we wouldn’t be in the study we got to choose to get the fetal surgery, whereas in the study it was randomized who got which surgery. By this point we were at 23 weeks and the requirements to have the fetal surgery said it needed to be done by 25 weeks and 6 days. Not much time to get a lot done, especially since it was the holidays. I got an amniocentesis on a Monday and when the results came back that Wednesday that they were good I started to make plans to go to San Francisco where the surgery would be. We were told that if my baby passed the rest of the tests, which included an MRI, ultrasound, and echocardiogram that we would have to be prepared to stay in San Francisco until he was delivered by c-section at 38 weeks. I had already planned to go home and see my family for Christmas, and although it was still early in my pregnancy, we had a baby shower. How grateful I am now that my baby got a baby shower. 

[Read more…]

Missed Miscarriage May 11th, 2009
Missed Miscarriage February 14th, 2011
British Columbia, Canada
In late March of 2009, my then fiance and I discovered we were expecting our first child together. For the last week I had thought that something was different, but I didn’t want to give myself over to the thought of being pregnant until I could know for sure since my periods had a history of being late. After we found out we were both so excited and went to the doctor the next day. When we heard all of my blood work was fine we began to tell people. At this time my biggest worry was that my wedding dress would not fit when I was three and a half months pregnant.

Everything began to unravel for us when I went in for my dating ultrasound on May 11th. Having never been pregnant I was not sure what to expect, but I thought that seeing your baby was a sure thing. The tech was very quiet throughout and would not let my fiance in. She asked me to empty my bladder for an internal ultrasound, after which she asked me to just wait outside. Grasping for anything and confused, I asked for a picture of my baby. While we waited I talked to my mom and she asked me what the heartbeat was and I felt my heart drop, I never heard a heartbeat. I did not want to give up hope and began to sob when my fiances mom said “these things just happen you know, you can try again”. After what seemed like an eternity the technician came out and handed me a picture of my baby and said that I should head to see my midwife. When I got there I was informed my baby had stopped growing at eight weeks and gave me my options of waiting, taking medication, or having a D and C. I began asking right away for a D and C, which she would not schedule saying I could expect to miscarry any day. I did not want to have a miscarriage, the thought of seeing what I percieved as pieces of my baby frightened me. I kept thinking that something had to be wrong, my baby looked so perfect, and I did not feel that I was miscarrying. I talked to my midwife and was able to get another ultrasound which confirmed my baby was gone. After two more weeks of being told to wait for my body, I went to my local emergency room begging for help. I could not go on carrying my baby inside of me anymore. The doctors were shocked that I had been carrying my baby like this for five weeks, and had me into a specialist the next day. The following day I had my first D and C.
[Read more…]

Mom to Kamberlyn Nicole
Born Still on December 27th, 2010
Abbeville, Alabama
I had a perfect pregnancy, never had any blood pressure problems or any problems really. I was due on February 1, 2011. 

[Read more…]

Mom to Baby Miscarried June 12th, 2009
and Jada Sophia
Stillborn July 21st, 2010
Hillsboro, Ohio
Me and my Husband have been married for 8 years and we had been trying to have a child for 9 years. After a year of trying on our own I knew something was wrong so I went to my OBGYN and was told I was still young and that it will happen. I was 21 at the time. So I figured it was all in my head and for years I never went back to a doctor. 

[Read more…]

Mom to Grace June
February 25th, 2010
Angel Baby
October 5th, 2010
and Angel Baby
January 10th, 2011

[Read more…]

Mom to Kayla LeAnne
December 1, 2009
and David Joseph
September 20th, 2010 – January 20th, 2011
Parma Heights, Ohio

[Read more…]

Mother to Ella, lost to miscarriage January 3rd, 2009
and Angel Baby #2, lost to miscarriage April, 2009
Olathe, Kansas
Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to have children.  I think that is what most little girls want.  That is why we love dolls so much.  So it is no surprise that shortly after I got married, I started thinking more seriously about starting a family.  This is the story of my journey to becoming a mother.  It is a deeply painful and personal story.  I have chosen to share it for two reasons.  One is because it brings meaning to my struggle.  My pain will not have been in vain and it keeps the memory of those loved and lost alive.  The second reason, of equal importance, is so I might offer help and hope to other women experiencing the same loss.  Here is my story.

In November 2008, on my first wedding anniversary, I found out I was pregnant with a surprise baby.  Although surprised, my husband and I were thrilled.  We started seeing the doctor and went in for a routine 6 week ultra sound.  The technician told us the baby’s heart beat seemed a little slow but not to worry.  It was probably just because it had just started beating within the last few days.  We did not worry at all.  We went on our way without any problems.  At 11 weeks we went in for another routine doctors visit and our doctor said we could hear the baby’s heart beat and put an instrument on my tummy to find it.  She searched for 10 minutes to find the baby’s heart beat and never did.  I began to worry and asked her if anything was wrong.  She said, “You had an ultra sound at 6 weeks right?“.  I told her I had and she said she was sure everything was fine and the baby was just too little to pick up the heart beat yet.  Again we were sent on our way and told not to worry.  So we went on our way and did not worry.  When I was 12 weeks pregnant I can remember thinking, “Oh good, I am past the first trimester and the worst time for miscarriage”.  I was relieved.  Later that same day, after shopping for nursery furniture, I started bleeding very heavily.  It was a Sunday so my doctor’s office was closed.  I called the ER and spoke to the on call doctor who informed me I was probably miscarrying and I needed to call my OBGYN the next day to confirm this.  I asked him if I needed to come in to the hospital that day and he said, “No.  If you are miscarrying, you are miscarrying and there is nothing I can do to help you.”  My heart dropped when I heard him say this and I did not accept this.  What if my baby was still alive and just needed some help?  So I ignored the doctor and went to the ER anyway.  I was admitted and a doctor (not the same one I talked to on the phone) came in to examine me.  He said my cervix was still closed which was a good sign but unless he did an ultra sound he could not confirm the baby’s condition.  We opted to have the ultra sound.  The technician came in and quickly found the baby on the screen.  He started telling me where the legs and arms and various body parts were and I sensed he was avoiding telling me the only thing my husband and I really wanted to know.  I asked him if the baby’s heart was beating and he paused and then very nicely and quietly said, “I’m sorry.  I am not detecting any fetal heart movement.”  I said ok and sat silently while he packed his machine up and left the room.  Our family was waiting outside the door.  As soon as he was gone my husband and I both starting crying and hugging and all I could say over and over again was how sorry I was.  When our family came in to see us I just kept telling them how sorry I was.  It is interesting, as a mother, how you fully take the blame for a miscarriage right away.  Everyone kept telling me it was not my fault, but all I could say was how sorry I was.  This was the first grandchild on both sides of our family and everyone was so excited.  I felt I had let them all down and their hearts were broken just like mine.  I actually felt bad for them.  My father-in-law, a man known professionally for being very strong and not emotional at all, put his hand on mine and never let go of me the entire time we were in the hospital room.  That was January 3rd, 2009.

[Read more…]

Mom to Joshua Michael
Born and Died November 16th, 2010
My name is Kassandra Travis and I am 27 years old. My husband, Michael and I were married secretly in February 2010 and shortly afterwards found out we were expecting in December 2010. A Christmas Day baby at that! 
 I was a single mommy to my handsome little man 4 year old Kaleb prior to meeting Michael. We feel in love fast and decided that the hassle of wedding planning wasn’t for us.  Michael welcomed Kaleb into his life, as if he was his from the start. I knew after seeing their bond grew from the start, I wanted to add to the family. Little did I know it would be shortly afterwards.
In mid April 2010, I started noticing that my smelling abilities were becoming those of hunting dogs. I could smell the smallest amount of anything to the greatest details. Michael would tease me about it and I always shrugged it off until the thought of it, hit me in the middle of the night. My senses did the exact same thing when I was pregnant with Kaleb. I took a pregnancy test the next day, on my lunch hour and it instantly turned positive. There was no having to wait for 3 minutes to determine it. I had so many emotions running through my head. From here we go again to trying to figure out how exactly to share it with Mike.  Considering none of our friends or families knew we had got married several months prior, they were in for two surprises.

[Read more…]

Miscarriage on March 4th, 2011 at 10 weeks
Lexington, South Carolina
January 24th, 2011: Surprise! We found out we were expecting our second child. My husband and I were both very excited and we called our parents right away to share our news. I then called my doctor to schedule my first baby appointment. We were scheduled for February 22nd.
I had the usual pregnancy symptoms; extreme fatigue, nausea and roller coaster emotions. I ended up feeling like I was getting a urinary tract infection (UTI), so I called my doctor. At this point I was 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Because of the UTI my doctor wanted to see me, and as a precaution she scheduled an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech said that the baby was only measuring 4 weeks. I was concerned but my doctor said that it was perfectly fine at this point.

[Read more…]

Mom to Caris AnnaBelle Tate
January 30th, 2011 – February 5th, 2011
Newport News, Virginia
I had the best pregnancy of anyone I have ever met. I never had any morning sickness, I didn’t gain a lot of weight, I always took my vitamins, I saw my doctor a couple times a month… the only issue my husband and I thought we may be facing is possible Down Syndrome, which was mentioned at our 20-week ultrasound. While that came as a huge blow to us (I cried every night for Caris, praying that if she did have Down Syndrome, that the Lord would bless her with the ability to still enjoy life to the fullest).

[Read more…]

Mom to Kylie Joy
June 11th, 2007
Belleville, Illinois

Mom to Aiden William
November 2nd, 2010
Sugar Land, Texas
In the words of my niece Kayla Marie….“my whole life!” My whole life all I’ve ever wanted to be is a wife and a mother. I have the best husband in the world. I was so so close to having my perfect baby boy here with me. Here is his story……

[Read more…]

Mom to Gracie Lynn 
July 2008
and Zechariah Jacob
October 2010
Stowe, Vermont

[Read more…]

© 2011 Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope | PO Box 26131 | Minneapolis, MN 55426 | Contact Us